Getting worse, than better.....

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New Member

Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 5/6/2012 11:33 AM (GMT -6)   
I am 38 years old and have always been a very outgoing, fun loving person.  That all changed last year when I had a breakdown at work and my doctor took me off work and since then things have seem worse I am more depressed, stay in bed alot, cry alot.  We have tried so many different medicines I am not even sure which ones I have tried and ones I have not anymore. I have been taking effexor xr which I have been taking since the birth of my son ( 10 years now )  I am also on a new medicine for about a week now Lexapro 10 mg.  I want out of this hell. I am married and have a wonderful son.  My husband is really understanding but I feel is getting tired of the illness.  It really seems to have taken a toll on my family, myself.  I don't do things I have always enjoyed.  I think alot of my depression is due to weight gain I haved gained at least 60 pounds and feel disgusting. I want to excerise but to depressed to do it.  I don't love myself and how can I expect anyone else to love me if I feel worthless, fat, ugly and depressed. I don't want to lose my wonderful family, friends, life due to this illness. My worst fear is that it will effect my son and then I will never forgive myself. I feel like I am in the darkest place I have ever been and do not know how to get out.  I feel like I am not living just going throught the motions of everyday.  I will take any suggestions.  It has effected the person I used to be and the person I am.  Please help.  cry

It's Genetic
Veteran Member

Date Joined Mar 2010
Total Posts : 1540
   Posted 5/6/2012 1:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello, Ivanlean, and welcome to the Depression Forum.

You did not say whether you are seeing a psychiatrist or a general practitioner for your current treatment. If you aren't seeing a psychiatrist, I would suggest that it would be helpful for you to switch to one as soon as possible.

Your medications sound as if they are not working satisfactorily for you.  And I think you could benefit from counseling, as well. It's very helpful in letting you change your view of yourself to that of a person who is going to be successful in losing weight, maintaining self-respect, and love for others.

We aren't doctors, of course, but can only tell you what has worked for us or for others whom we know.

Take care and do try to get in to see a psychiatrist as soon as possible.

It's Genetic

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 5/6/2012 1:31 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi there,

I took effexor for many years. It worked well for me. But I did add a mood stabilizer to it and it helped the effexor work better. If you are seeing a psychiatrist, you might want to ask about the mood stabilizer abilify. I take pristiq and abilify now. Basically because I can take one pill of pristiq where I had to take five of the effexor xr 75mg. Pristiq is very much like effexor. How many milligrams are you taking? It might not be enough.

I am not able to do a lot of exercises, but I walk. I highly suggest that you start walking. It is so good for you. But do start out slow. Then increase your distance as you get use to it. It burns a lot of calories. I quit drinking soda and cut back on my coffee too. I started drinking water and this has helped me to lose over 20 pounds. The combination of that and walking. Walking is a nice way to see your neighbors too. If you have some. It is nice to say hello to people and chit chat for a moment. It is good for us.

Like IG said, we aren't doctors. But we can share what works for us. I really think walking would help you. It doesn't have to be a lot. It makes you feel better physically and mentally. I often feel energized after a short walk too. I find myself getting more done. So give it a try and see how you feel.

Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

New Member

Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 5/6/2012 1:38 PM (GMT -6)   
I am seeing a psychiarist and a counsler but sometimes I am to depressed to even go to see the counsler. Reading alot of the post here today makes me realize the I am not alone and some fights are bigger than others but we all suffer from the same illness. It is nice to talk to someone who understands and gives posative feed back to try and help others.

Veteran Member

Date Joined Sep 2006
Total Posts : 2861
   Posted 5/6/2012 4:05 PM (GMT -6)   
Like Karen said, you may need to add something to your current meds. I take effexor xr and seroquel now. Just an anti-depressant does not work for many of us.

I understand your frustration.

Karen is right also about walking. The first day I walked 2 houses down and back-lol...and I was exhausted, especially carrying extra weight. Next day i made it a block. Just acheiving something will do wonders for your self-esteem, and even my hyper-critical hubby was proud of me.

It is alot of hard work to beat this, work that takes energy we do not seem to have. Force yourself at first. Ask your son to go with you. My daughter is the reason right now for getting better, and soon I will have the gumption to do it for myself

Try it and look into another med addition...never give up...our children need us

Let us know

"We never realize how strong we are, until being strong is the only thing left"
Major Depressive Disorder, ptsd, fibromyalgia, chronic pain, l3/4, L4/5 gone, bursitis arthritis sciatica

seroquel, hydrocodone clonazepam norvasc multi vitamin and magnesium

Living Well
Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 1276
   Posted 5/7/2012 5:17 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey IL,
I haven't read the responses so please excuse me if I repeat anything. I am a similar age to you, with a son a little older and I am severely depressed too. Some days I go through stages where I can't even shower, let alone get dressed. If I am too fatigued to exercise, I will do simple stretches. There is heaps on youtube. Pace it to 2/3 of what you are capable of doing. Overdoing things can make depression worse. Meditation should also help stop the unhelpful thoughts you are having about yourself and your life. Focus on your breath, your body sensations. Look only at facts without forming judgements. ie. "I am 100kg" not "I am fat". "Hubby has been quiet since coming home today" not "He must be sick of me". It will help reduce the secondary anxiety you are having about the primary depression. You will fair much better if you just stay with managing the depression without dumping too many fears and judgements on top. I know - easier said than done, but just do what you can. Register at and the questionaires there that will help you identify your strengths to help you move yourself forward. will give you more information. I run a dbt group here which you are welcome to attend. I also have recently written a post about resiliency and that might help prevent that quicksand sinking feeling that no matter how hard we try we just sink further. It's a dreadful feeling and I know you will find you way out and life will be good again :) Hugs x

Living Well
Veteran Member

Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 1276
   Posted 5/7/2012 5:19 AM (GMT -6) - Resiliency link, I forgot to paste :)
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