I just wanted to say hello to all my supporters who encouraged me to voluntarily sign myself in to the Psychiatric Unit at my hospital. It was a very emotional and frightening process, especially for my wife. She didn't like it when a hospital staff had to 'babysit' me in the ER. I already knew the process, since I was a cop and have helped others as they either voluntared or were forced to be admitted to the Psych. Unit.
I called ahead and asked registration what their process was and what I was allowed to bring and use during my stay at the Psych Unit. I brought a changed of clothes for 3 to 5 days, which is the typical time frame to be released. I also was told to bring all my medications.
While packing everything, I decided to play it safe and so I put a few extra pills for pain in a few socks and some more hidden in my back brace! It was just in case the staff didn't give me my pain meds when it was due or when I was in horrific pain. Sadly I had to use these extra meds during my visit here.
After my wife knew the visitation times and rules I sent her home, because we sat in the ER for hours and she was tired and had to work the next day. She took the day off from work and we spent the entire day together, which was nice until we went to the ER. My wife was still in denial that I needed to be admitted for help. To be fair, I never showed or told her I was a cutter. She knew I was a Always thinking about suicide.
When my wife left in tears, I changed into their hospital gown and kept my socks and underwear on. The nurses took all my belongings and stuffed them in a bag and a crate. The doctor examined me and a nurse took a blood sample. After about two hours I still couldn't give them a urine sample. I was tired of waiting and asked for my catheter kit and I went and Cath myself and gave them a sample.
Finally the doctor medically cleared me and I was officially admitted to the Psych Ward. However, while I was waiting and waiting I decided to hedge my bets and even though I had a nurse watching me I stood up and went to my bag and managed to take about 10 Morphine pills and put them in a small pocket on my gown!
Next security came and took me to the 4th floor Psych Unit where I am currently staying as an extended guest. I was admitted on May 2nd and was told it would be a 3 to 5 day stay. Ummmmm, today is May 13th and I guess I'm more messed up than I thought. I'll explain more later...
*The iPAD I'm using while I'm inside is a big No, No. I had my wife smuggle it inside her pocketbook. I hide it in my clothes. Heck, I need something to freakin do in between therapy sessions! I need to be able to google search my meds to see what the side effects are. One of my meds is causing me to gain weight and I refuse to take it! If I'm fat, I will have an even lower self esteem and be even more depressed!
That's all for now. I just wanted to share my current experiences here.