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sayyadina
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2009
Total Posts : 1343
   Posted 5/14/2012 9:49 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm very worried about my dad. I think he's depressed, but I have no idea how to convince him he must get help. I tried several months ago to get him to see a therapist when he expressed interest, but once I gave him names and numbers he was like "I just need to learn to live with it". I really don't feel like this has been at all helpful, and I am very worried about him. And my sister is too. She's away at school and is only limited help. My ability to function is itself limited due to my own physical health issues.

He really needs to see a therapist, but I don't know how to convince him of the necessity. I also don't have much energy extra to deal with this.

CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 5/15/2012 12:14 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Sayyadina:  does your dad have any other close relatives or friends?  Does he happen to belong to any religion or church?  Perhaps there are others that could share these concerns with him as well.  An intervention of some sort?
 
Unfortunately though, one has to personally acknowledge and accept they have a problem and want to get help for this to work.  I guess in the meantime, just letting him know you are around and that you care is a positive step in itself.
 
I guess the only exception is if you feel he is a danger to himself.  Then you could perhaps talk to his doctor or take him to the ER for evaluation.
 
Hang in there.  It sounds like he is very lucky to have such a concerned daughter.
 
Cass

Living Well
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 1276
   Posted 5/15/2012 2:17 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Sayyadina,

What are you dealing with for you? Have you got enough support or are the people you rely on sick as well?

How does your dad's suspected depression impact on you? We don't always have the answers for other people. Sometimes we have to draw back to ourselves and attend to the parts of our own life that are out of order and merely tell others how their sickness is impacting on us - and let them to work it out. He may benefit from a better lifestyle; therapy; or medication but it has to come from within him.

You haven't mentioned your Mum. Are you taking over the caring, nurturing, mothering, worrying role for your family.

Do you find therapy helpful for you; is that why you think your Dad will benefit?

Jade x

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 5/15/2012 7:29 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Sayyadina,

If you can't get your dad to go, continue taking care of you. we can't always help everybody that we want to. But I agree with suggestions above about maybe doing some type of intervention if you can. But if it doesn't work, keep on taking care of you to keep you stronger to deal with him.

I hope things work out for you and your dad...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Living Well
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2011
Total Posts : 1276
   Posted 5/16/2012 5:29 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Sayyadina,

It sounds like everyone is struggling to some degree. Is there some kind of family support. It is very hard to get family support in any part of the globe but start brainstorming who might be able to help you. This sounds all too big for you to shoulder alone for too long.

Also there are ways to become more resilient in times you just can't get that support. Google resilience - as in psychological resilience - and see what you think.

Also your therapist might be able to help you work through this issue; knowing you personally - and knowing far more about you and your family. I often forget to bring the most pressing concerns to my therapist - I tend to suppress what I can't handle too well.

Good luck - and keep posting x

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 5/22/2012 5:10 PM (GMT -6)   
I think you are doing all the right things. Maybe your dad would like to walk with you. That could be a start. If he is overweight, that is putting more stress on his body and making him hurt more. I don't understand why the pcp wouldn't cooperate with you and talk to him. You are doing this for his well being. I hope it works out okay for you. Maybe you could change the menu on meals to healthier things for him. I know it is hard. And you have a lot of responsibility with the farm. I love animals by the way.

Good luck, keep posting and keep your chin up.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 5/22/2012 7:40 PM (GMT -6)   
Maybe this pcp will be better than the last and be concerned with his weight and his overall health. I sure do hope so. I really hope things become better for you and your father. Keep posting and know that we all care. Take it one day at a time, that is all you can do. Have faith that things will work out for the best. Best wishes...

Hugs, Karen

He can still eat healthy without going completely vegetarian. Cut back on a few of the carbs and that will help some. I hope you can get him out for a short walk. There is more than one way to skin a cat, and maybe we can do some brain storming for you.

Hugs...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 5/23/2012 5:17 AM (GMT -6)   
You have to do what is right for your well being. I don't blame you for wanting to leave. It is hard to watch somebody who isn't taking care of themselves. You do what you need to do for yourself and don't feel guilty about it.

Talk to him about it though. Make yourself very clear in your intentions. Maybe he will start trying.

Best wishes sweetie...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 5/25/2012 2:45 PM (GMT -6)   
Just keep taking care of you first and foremost. That is the best that you can do. If you have to leave, you have to leave. You take care of you. We are behing you 100% no matter what you choose to do.

Take care,

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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