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ExProud
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 46
   Posted 5/20/2012 6:09 PM (GMT -6)   
I've been trying to do all the right stuff and get as much help as I can, but every once in a while I get this attitude of impatience. I'm worried that I'm stuck in this conditionion for good like so many others who've posted here. I know it's not helpful to think that way and buden myself with more worry, but after a certain point it's real hard not to.
 
I find myself battling guilt much of the time. I don't have much guilt when I'm not depressed, but when I am depressed the guilt is the central focus of my despair. Truth is I have done some things that I deserve to feel guilty for, so when I'm depressed i really tend to punish myself for all my past sins. I also spend a lot of time praying for forgiveness and mercy. I know I've not been the person I should be and I have to try to be a better person when I'm no longer depressed. The problem is I have a hard time believing I'm forgiven and a hard time forgiving myself. It's like I'm tainted and I can't break free of the things I've done. This just becomes an endless cycle and really wears on me. Maybe I deserve to suffer.
 
I don't think I'm overall a bad person, there are just some bad choices I've made, some bad habbits I've gotten into. I've also been pretty selfish and not helped others as much as I should, I want to change that. I've also been too critical of others at times, and now it seems I'm turning the tables on myself. It's just very hard to find peace when I'm dealing with all these personal conflicts.
 

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 5/21/2012 7:27 AM (GMT -6)   
Let go of the guilt. You can always volunteer somewhere to feel better. Maybe at the local animal shelter or somtehting, feeling guilty is only going to eat at you.

Know that all you have to do is try the betst that you can. That is what I do. I do the best I can, forget about past mistakes. Nobody in this life is perfect. So do not be so hard on yourself. Accept yourself for who you are. You can do this.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 5/24/2012 7:22 AM (GMT -6)   
HI SeanBen,

Welcome to the depression forum.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

AJ94
New Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 5/25/2012 2:54 AM (GMT -6)   
You are forgiven. Everyone makes mistakes and no one is perfect. i know exactly how you feel. i have often said to myself i deserve to suffer but in reality God wants no one to suffer. I changed my life around for the better. Give back to your community. Go to church and help people now just because you dont feel as if you were there best person doesnt mean you cant be a wonderful person now. Let go of the past because no matter how long you sit there and reflect on your past mistakes we cant change them but we can change ourself now in hopes of a brighter future.
-AJ

ExProud
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 46
   Posted 5/25/2012 11:27 AM (GMT -6)   
Thank you for responding, it's very nice, and really does make a difference.
 
Sometimes it just seems like life should have come with more instructions. When we're left to make our own choices we can so easily make bad ones without believing there might be consequences.
 
I am just going to try my best to accept myself as I am and focus on the present.
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