Ok ... a follow-up to my original 'Post' from my 'Husband of a wife suffering from depression .... what can I do?
A few updates:
1. My wife has met 4/5 times with a Psychiatrist who was referred to her by our church. One would assume that, given the source of the recommendation, that the counselor would view issues, circumstances and treatment through a 'Biblical Worldview' lens. I'm not so sure that's happening - OR - my wife if sharing information with me that is being taken out of context since the primary outcomes to date that my wife has shared with me is that;
A) The psychiatrist has said she has 'depression like symptoms,
B) That my wife is one of the most complicated 'cases' she has ever dealt with and,
C) that my wife should be seeing a lawyer.
I wouldn't disagree with A or B above, however, I've got serious issues with 'C' ... the see a lawyer (suggesting that divorce proceedings should be started).
'See a lawyer?' - How can anyone properly assess a situation - even a 'professional' - particularly a marital relationship without ever speaking with the spouse? If there's a car accident, a policeman hears from both parties, in a legal proceeding both parties present their case, in business dispute both parties are seated at the table. I realize I'm getting the information through my wife's 'filter' but really .... never talking to the spouse? It should be noted that this counselor has suggested that I meet with a male therapist in the same office?
Shouldn't I meet with the same person that my wife is? I welcome informed and/or experienced thoughts and comments on this issue.
2. I will be meeting this morning with a Christian therapist. My thought in doing so (this is the 3rd time in 6 months that I'm meeting with her) is that I am interested in being 'coached' and 'held accountable' in how to deal with and be an encouragement to my wife. I've tried the 'self-taught and self-motivated' approach and it's failed several times. I figure if the best athletes in the world pursue 3rd party coaching, then why shouldn't I do the same in pursuit of a God honoring marriage and a desire to 'help' myself deal with my wife's depression and possibly help her deal with it herself.
I'm scared, I believe my wife is approaching her personal 'breaking point'. The 'pressures and challenges of life' that lie ahead for my wife and our marriage are huge! My work demands continue to be very high (i.e. long hours), in the next 3/4 months we will become 'Empty-Nesters' as our youngest goes to college, our oldest son will be getting married, my wife's mother (who she assumes a disproportionate share of the care responsibilities for) is suffering from increasingly more severe dementia.
We'll see where this goes but one thing I know for sure .... it'll be me that needs to change to help my wife and save our marriage, I just don't know what that looks like?
I look forward to your thoughts and comments.