Depressed but not depressed.

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Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 94
   Posted 5/22/2012 4:07 PM (GMT -6)   
I haven't cleaned the house. I haven't folded the laundry or put in the second load I should have done days ago. I rest on the couch, checking my Facebook while drifting in and out of consciousness. I'm sick but the doctor I want to see isn't taking patients and I've finally got money to pay. There is no other doctor that I trust because each new one I see blames my problems on me. I got rid of my cats because they made me unhappy now I miss them. I want them back. Laxapro, among others, keeps me from going crazy once a month (PMDD and bipolar with psychotic features, I'm told) but I'm still depressed. I just had the dose brought up to 20MG and the only thing it's done is made me twitch more. That tick in my neck is back. My legs feel restless and jerk. But it's still better than the madness of being off an antidepressant. I'm depressed but find it hard to feel. I'm lonely but won't invite anyone over. I want to fix up the spare room for the roommate I'm trying to procure but I don't want to stand up. I should eat something. But my stomach hurts, partially from just lying here not eating all day. I need to feel fulfillment. That's it! A second job would make me happy but I fall asleep filling out the application. What's the point anyway? Too many people. Not enough work. I know what would make me feel better... but I just can't bring myself to leave this darn couch.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 5/22/2012 5:15 PM (GMT -6)   
Maybe you could get yourself going by taking a short walk. That helps me daily. I take my dog around the block. It gives me energy and helps me mentally. Or a nice hot shower. That would make you feel better. I know it is hard to do, but try...

Being depressed is no fun. It sounds like you are depressed. I am sorry that the lexapro makes you twitch. Have you told the doc about that? You might want to. Or try mirapex for the restless leg syndrome. I use to get it when I was in bed a lot. My legs wanted to run. That was the only thing that would take it away. I couldn't tolerate the mirapex.

I hope that you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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