Depression help

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New Member

Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 5/28/2012 3:32 PM (GMT -6)   
Hello, I'm new to this so not sure where to start.

I'm 22 years old and was told I had depression when I was 19. It all really starte when I was 18 and my mom died which was a complete shock to us. I felt empty and lost. I had a boyfriend at ye time who was my first love. He helped me through it all but I just pushed him away and eventually we broke up. I started to hang around with people who made me into someone I didn't like and everybody else didn't like. I lost lots of true friend and my boyfriend all because I thought it was better to go out and drink every weekend and try and forget how I was really feeling. I was treated like crap by these so called friends and made to feel even worse about how I felt. Saying I owed th something because they where there when my mom died.

In this time I met someone else and started to date him. It was great at first but after a few months he showed his real side. The first time I noticed he changed was when he started to be abut controlling. Telling me I couldn't wear make up and make me feel bad about seeing my friends. He would turn everything around and make me feel bad about everything. He brought me down all the time making me feel useless and worthless. It started getting worse and I would spend all my time with him. I lost all my friends and almost my family. One day we were in the car and arguing when he pulled over in a car park and he told me to get out the car. As I did he reversed the car and the door smacked off my head and side. I ran off and he followed and after some confruntation he threatened to hit me. This was the point the threats started. A few months later just before Xmas he pysicaly hurt me throwing me and kicking me and punched me. I got him arrested but couldn't go through with the court date. Stupidly I forgave him. It got a bit better after that and we seemed ok. Until he disappeared one day. No one knew where he was unroll a woman phoned me and told me she was his new gf. That was the point I cut him out. I spoke to him a few times after by I knew I had to cut him off and I haven't seen or heard off him since 2010. That year I passed my driving test and things were looking up.

Ive sice got a new job, which I did enjoy but now I feel down again. I've been with my new bf for a year and a Half and he's great. We're working toward a future and I really love him. But I keep getting myself down and feeling depressed. I don't enjoy my job and keep over thinking. I am tired all the time and constantly feeling ill. I feel lost and alone. I don't know if I have gotten over everything as I've never spoke about it. I feel like crying all the time. I've no true friends and no one I can spend much time with. I feel so alone at the moment and all I want is to carry on with my life and not be angry and upset all the time. I want to focus on my future. I feel a failure at the moment. Like I've nothing to be proud of. I'm in a dead end job and have nothing to work for. I just need some help with where I start to feel better about myself and do better in my life. I need some help. What do I do?

Veteran Member

Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 619
   Posted 5/28/2012 3:52 PM (GMT -6)   
Welcome. I'm far from an expert but I'd say you need to see a doctor and a therapist. You have way too much to deal with for one person to bear.
You may benefit from antidepressants, and you really need someone to talk to. You are not alone anymore. There are a lot of nice people on this forum who can help you.
There is nothing wrong with needing some help and you are not a failure. You are strong enough to pull yourself away from the drinking and negative people so give yourself a pat on the back for that, that is not easy!
As to where to start? You already have by posting here. Next step is make a couple appointments. One with a doctor for a physical and perhaps antidepressants. One with a therapist.
Keep in mind that you are NOT a failure.
Chronic pain, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Tennis Elbow (both arms), Arthritis (knees and fingers), Diabetes. Ruptured disk L-4, Severe degenerative damage L5-S1, ACDF C6-C7

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7515
   Posted 5/28/2012 10:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Ditto on everything Kaely posted! Stay proactive in your health!
Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.

DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;
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