Am i depressed?

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amber66776677
New Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 5/30/2012 11:05 PM (GMT -6)   
I feel silly even writing this message, but i don't know who else i can talk to about the way i've been feeling for the last couple of months. I feel like i'm just making a fuss over nothing!

I'm a student at university and have nearly finished my first year. I've made lots of friends and have been really happy up until a couple of months ago, when i had a massive fight with a friend from home. He still isn't speaking to me, and i suppose this has affected me, now i just feel miserable all the time, just crying randomly etc. and am just plagued with self-doubt all the time. I thought i was being stupid and have ignored how ive been feeling but it's all starting to get on top of me. I'm getting no sleep at night, i haven't been to bed before 7am in weeks and i'm starting to avoid my flatmates and other people. Constantly feeling like i'm not good enough, not eating, getting drunk more than normal.

It got so bad a couple of weeks ago i went home for a week and missed all my lectures, but i just told my parents i was there to do revision. That made me feel better for a while, but now i'm back, i feel just as bad as ever. I don't want to speak to anyone about it, i almost feel guilty for feeling like this, because up until a few months ago, uni has been the best part of my life.

Suicide has crossed my mind a couple of times, but i know i'd never do something like that. Is it normal to feel like this?

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 5/31/2012 5:22 AM (GMT -6)   
No it sin't normal to feel like this. I would see a counselor of a doctor right away. You don't want to fail uni... This is the time of life that you are preparing for the rest of your life so it is important to continue on in uni. Please talk to somebody and get yourself better right now. It is so important for you.

Depression is an ugly beast and can ruin your life. I hope you know how important it is to get help. Maybe start with counseling.

I am so glad that you joined us. You are so welcome here. Keep posting and let us know how you are doing.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

amber66776677
New Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 6/2/2012 5:56 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi karen,

Feeling a bit better today, I actually went out and went shopping with some friends. First time in a while. Have only got a month left of uni anyway, will be home soon!

How are you?

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 6/2/2012 6:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Amber,

I am happy that you had a better day. I am also happy that you went out shopping with friends. That is healthy and fun too. I have a girlfriend that I go shopping with. I enjoy it. It makes it a lot mre fun. Especially when a person can get something for themselves. That is always nice...

It looks like you are happy with the thought of going home. Is there any particular reason? Or just because you like being there?

I am doing good. The weather hasn't been too nice so I haven't been out for my walk or anything. But hopefully tomorrow.

Take care, keep posting...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Kaely
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 619
   Posted 6/3/2012 4:07 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Amber,

If you are having thoughts of suicide you should definitely see a doctor or therapist. That is not normal thinking. I think the fight with your friend triggered a HUGE bout of homesickness. Self medicating with alcohol is a bad idea, alcohol is a depressant, the last thing you need.
I hope you get some help and things take a turn for the better :)
Chronic pain, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Tennis Elbow (both arms), Arthritis (knees and fingers), Diabetes. Ruptured disk L-4, Severe degenerative damage L5-S1, ACDF C6-C7

amber66776677
New Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 6/4/2012 11:15 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Karen, yes, it was a good day. I discovered something which helped the other night. I was feeling really low and had been crying all night. It was about 8am and I hadn't been able to sleep, so I started writing a diary about how I was feeling. Getting it all out made me feel a bit better. Also started writing notes to my friends and family, and people I wanted to say things to. I don't know why it helped, but I was able to sleep after I'd done it. Suicide crossed my mind again though but I managed to banish the thoughts.

I'm not sure why I'm happy to go home. I loved uni. Maybe because I am around my family all day and it means I have to get up and lead a normal life. It's too easy at uni to spend days in bed, alone.

How is the weather where you are? After lots of torrential rain, it is finally nice again :) that's always a good thing.


Thanks for the advice Kaely, I will think about seeing a doctor :)

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 6/4/2012 1:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Amber,

We had many days of rain too. It is partly sunny here today and a lot nicer than it has been. I was able to walk my dog a couple of times today.

I am glad that you are going home soon. It sounds like it is healthier for you than spending days in bed. That is so easy to do when you are depressed. I take meds to keep me from sleeping all of the time. I have fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue.

I am glad that you found writing helps. It often is therapeudic. I find that it helps me to keep a journal. I use to write in it every night.

I am hoping that you do see a doctor when you get home maybe. Get a complete physical and also talk about being depressed. A family doctor will prescribe antidepressants if you need them.

It sounds like you are feeling better. I am so happy for that.

Take care and keep posting...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

amber66776677
New Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 6/4/2012 9:28 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm feeling really bad at the moment. Just worthless and useless. I don't know why I feel so lonely when I am surrounded by people. Today my friends tried to get me to go out but I told them I was ill. I haven't left my room all day, not even to eat.

I don't know why I am feeling like this. It's really scary, I'm only 19, I don't understand what's happening to me. Up until a month or two ago I was fine :(

I wish I could just sleep like a normal person, but I think it's going to be another all nighter.

I feel stupid going to see a doctor. I don't have a reason to feel like this. There's so many people who are worse off than me.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 6/5/2012 5:09 AM (GMT -6)   
Please dont' feel stupid. You have a legitamate problem going on here. I would see the doc. Talk to them and get this sorted out. You will feel better.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Kaely
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 619
   Posted 6/7/2012 8:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Amber don't feel stupid at all. Stupid would be not trying to figure out what was going on with you. As to being 'only 19' I was first diagnosed with depression when I was 11 so your age doesn't make you immune :)

Maybe you don't have a 'reason' to feel this way but you don't need one. If, like me, you are lacking in serotonin or dopamine, it's a chemical problem. It's not because you are weak or silly or stupid, it's because you need something to balance the chemicals in your brain.

My suggestion is go for a walk, because that helps with depression then call a doctor and get some help.
Chronic pain, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Tennis Elbow (both arms), Arthritis (knees and fingers), Diabetes. Ruptured disk L-4, Severe degenerative damage L5-S1, ACDF C6-C7

amber66776677
New Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 6/17/2012 5:24 PM (GMT -6)   
I just found out that my friend who hasn't spoken to me in 2 months attempted suicide. I don't know what to do, I can't stop crying.  I feel so guilty, like it was my fault for pestering him and fighting with him that sent him over the edge. If I go for help now, people will think I am attention seeking and am just doing it because of him. I can't stop shaking and I feel like being sick. Someone help me please, I don't know what to do.

Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 6/17/2012 5:36:02 PM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 6/17/2012 5:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Amber,

I had to edit your post as we cannot talk about self harm here.

But I highly suggest you see a therapist with what is going on. You have a lot on your plate right now. You need help. It is not attention seeking to get help.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

jennylopez
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2012
Total Posts : 0
   Posted 6/17/2012 8:59 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Amber, I think it's better if you attend counseling or behavior therapy. It will help you a lot :)

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted 6/18/2012 7:10 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Jenny,

Welcome to the forum. I am glad that you have joined us...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

mikem11
Regular Member


Date Joined Jun 2012
Total Posts : 21
   Posted 6/18/2012 10:23 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Amber,

I am terribly sorry to hear about everything that has been going on. I just finished up my sophomore year at my university, and I can relate quite a bit to everything that you are going through. I would say it would be beneficial to go see a therapist, whether there is one that you can see on your campus or off. It is not at all attention seeking to go see someone. I recommend that you see a therapist, talk to a good friend you are comfortable with, and keep posting. This is a trying thing in all of our lives and we all care about each others well being.

Keep your head up!
-Mike
_____________________________________
Mike
Anxiety/Panic Disorder, Health Anxiety, Depression
Supportive Therapy, Self Help
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