Posted 5/1/2005 7:34 AM (GMT -8)
about 2 weeks ago i proposed to my girlfriend of almost 5 years, and we are going to be getting married sometime in august of 06. i think back on some of the things i have done to her and i wonder why she is with me. i never cheated on her, but that doesn;t mean i wouldn;t have if i had had the chance. i would never do it now, as we have grown closer due to my anxiety and depression problems and she has been my rock. i think my problem was i just never appreciated her, but thank god i came to my senses in time to start and realize how much she means to me. i love her more then life it's self sometimes and truly believe she is my soul mate. i love every little thing about her, like the face she makes while sleeping or how she will talk to me in her sleep and not remember any of it the next morning or even how she gets mad at me for forgetting to take the garbage out on garbage day and all i have to do is give her a puppy dog look and she smiles and forgets it. i just could not imagine what it would be like to go through what i am going through right now by myself. i have been very emotional lately, mostly because i held in alot of my true feelings about my dads death for years and years, and am finally letting them out. all she does is comfort me and never judges. she loves me for me, which is such a great thing. i feel like we will be together forever. we are starting to excercise together, and she is even switching over to my diet of low fat low sodium even though i'm the one with the family history of heart disease and not her. but i think i would do the same for her if the roles were reversed. anyways, sorry if im rambling, but i kinda use this as my journal to get everything out.