Ahh, a moment I am not in crisis, which makes for an nice change.
I spoke to my son about what next year might bring. I have signed up on a 6mth lease on the house over the road. We move in this week and the lease will run out in early December.
We can't know what will be happening in December. My son should have finished his Gr 10. He has suggested we move to another suburb, 40kms away. He also might go back to his father's and study a course that only the college near his dad has offering.
I'm prepared to relocate if it helps my son get his footing in life, but still need to set my own goals and plant them wherever I might end up. I will be sad without him if he does go back to his dad. My son is the only person I have an enduring relationship with, but I'm not going to use that to hold him back. Me "having a life" is good for him but I'm not ready to try again after so many hurtful betrayals so recently. It hits my PTSD, and it hits hard!
How do other's with depression try to plan ahead with this illness that shakes us like rag dolls?
I'm not trying to remove the inevitable variability of life... what I am meaning is achieving what is important to us, despite the variability of life.