I have to face my psychiatrist for the first time tomorrow since my overdose two weeks ago. I've talked to him on the phone and he was nice enough. But my anxiety can get the best of me and I'm a bit scared of this appointment. I'm on an outpatient court committal so always worried i'll get "sent away".
ANYWAY, I OD'd two weeks ago and I don't know why. I think I was hypomanic, as I'd had trouble sleeping, when I did sleep I'd nod off and have horrible nightmares, I was having the racing thoughts, things like that. It might not meet all the criteria for hypomania but it was close to it.
I was in a GREAT mood the day before and the day I overdosed. I just nodded off and when I woke up I texted my sister and told her I felt like taking too many pills.
And I don't know WHY! How can I explain this to my psychiatrist if I can't explain it to myself? I am so scared of myself it isn't even funny, and this doesn't help.
Oh and I also was under the impression that someone who had died could possess people around me to hurt me, and so maybe I was trying in a way to PROTECT myself. I don't know.
Has anyone ever experienced anything like this? I honestly wasn't emotional at all during the time this happened, not like you'd imagine someone depressed and suicidal might be.
Post Edited By Moderator (getting by) : 6/17/2012 7:45:34 AM (GMT-6)