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K2014
New Member


Date Joined Jun 2012
Total Posts : 1
   Posted Yesterday 1:41 PM (GMT -6)   
I'm not one to be sad... ever... if you looked at me would you think that I am one of the happiest girls that you have ever seen. Its all fake, its all a lie, I hide everything from everyone so that I can be what they want. I make everyone happy over myself and Right now I'm striving to be everything that everyone wants me to be... I really can't put up with it much longer because I'm literally falling apart from the inside out. The stress of everything makes it so I can't eat, can't sleep, and I cry a lot now when I'm by myself. I think in the past 4 nights I have cried myself to sleep three of them. Sometimes I just wish it would all go away so that I could just be in peace. I'm pretty sure that the straw that breaks my back is going to come soon and I don't know if I'll be strong enough to handle it.

I just don't know what to do anymore.

Kaely
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 619
   Posted Yesterday 1:52 PM (GMT -6)   
Sounds like you have way too much going on for one person to bear. You need to get yourself to a doctor RIGHT NAO! A doctor can help you get into therapy and prescribe an antidepressant if that is what you need.

That aside, welcome to the forum :) and please keep posting here. I've found it really helps a lot to talk to people on here. They are very nice and very understanding. People DO care!
Chronic pain, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Tennis Elbow (both arms), Arthritis (knees and fingers), Diabetes. Ruptured disk L-4, Severe degenerative damage L5-S1, ACDF C6-C7

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42439
   Posted Yesterday 3:18 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi K2014,

I am sorry that you are having such a hard time right now. I agree with Kaely, get to your doctor and talk about it. Posting here helps also. Just to get it off of your chest helps. Do keep posting and know that we care.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted Today 3:52 AM (GMT -6)   
HEALING COMPASSION TO YOU.
JAMIE
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

CuriousKitty
Regular Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 6/26/2012 5:50 AM (GMT -6)   
I read your post and had to reply. I totally get the idea of having to make face for others. The question becomes why do people feel the need to do this and there are reasons, though often we dont recognize them. Though you may not appear sad, the build up of trying to be something for others wears you down and does become saddening after awhile.

Imagine if you found out you were meant to be a famous dancer, but that never came to be because others couldnt see it, but it was in you, and you never realized that dream. That would be saddening. There is a really cool person inside of you, and this situation might be telling you, they want you to come out. You dont want to live your life for others, otherwise you give your life away, and your life is for you; not them. You need support to feel strong enough to act on this. This is your life.

What to do first? the first think is to talk to people you feel supported by and here is a great start but there other other steps as well. A doctor maybe, or good friend that understands you, and sometimes even strangers that have no judgements about you. This is your time to be you, not some other person for them. This transition will be a good thing for you in the end; you just need support to follow through with starting to be you.

We are listening.
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