It's getting real hard

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Stumpy
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 7/1/2012 12:42 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi I'm new to this site I'm trying to keep it together but as I work away from my family I find it pain full to go to work in the morning or at night I no I have to provide for my family but I'm struggling I'm partner doesn't no how bad I feel when I can't talk to her every day I miss my kids I'm unhappy I go to sleep angry and wake up feeling like crap I get treated like crap at work I'm a nice person but get walked over at work I have no freinds I would like to talk to anyone that has felt this way or is in the same boat ass I am. Thanks

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 7/1/2012 2:15 PM (GMT -6)   
What is it that you don't like about your job? I am sorry that people walk all over you. It takes a lot of work to be a doormat. You need to learn assertiveness, as I do too. I never was good for standing up for myself. I have to learn to do that and so do you. It is more important right now that you learn that. Maybe get some booiks on it, or talk to a counselor about it. It will serve you well to learn. And the sooner the better for you. It will make your job much easier.

It takes time to make friends. You have to put yourself out there and be expecting disappointment, because it does happen. Nobody is perfect, the more you get to know a person, the more that you notice faults. And things that you don't necessarily like. But if you know that nobody is perfect and you expect flaws, you can handle it. I have a few friends. Some I dont even see often, but I know that they are there if I need them. I don't ever really ask for anything but their company though. I find out, the less that I see them, the better actually. Familiarity breeds contempt, I don't care who it is.

Learn to be assertive and stick up for yourself. The more you practice, the easier it is. If at first you don't succeed... You know what comes next.

I hope that you feel better. Try not to be angry, it is very counterproductive. Be happy...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Stumpy
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 7/1/2012 3:13 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks I do try but if I try stand up for myself at work I just get put on my ass iv trying to change crews but it's not getting better I use to like my job but now it's just hell Im proud to keep a roof over my family's head . I try not to be angry but when I ring my partner she doesn't have the time to talk or listen as she is looking after the kids . Iv Had trouble making freinds my whole life the guys up here a hard they see weakness in me and pray on it I wake up in fear to go to work iv just finshed my shift and il sleep today then go to work tonight I still have 11 shifts left till I go home as I do a 14/7 roster and I fly out to work so I'm isolated I'm not weak I'm stronger than anyone but I'm starting to weaken and I just need some one to listen so thank u for gudence and words they mean alot

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 7/1/2012 5:18 PM (GMT -6)   
Just don't give up. Each time you work your shifts and then come home, it will be easier. Try not to get upset with your wife. She is probably very busy with the kids. How many do you have?

I know a few guys that fly home every five weeks. But they work hard. So I know it is hard on them. But there is no work here where we live.

I bet that if you keep trying and fighting that you will keep at it and things will get better. Just talking about it helps. Take it one day at a time, soon you will be able to go home for a little while.

Keep hanging in there.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Kaely
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 619
   Posted 7/1/2012 8:32 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Stumpy,

Sorry things are rough for you right now. Maybe it's time to look for a new job? It sounds like you're pretty miserable where you are. Sometimes we have to take care of ourselves first, then everyone else.
Chronic pain, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Tennis Elbow (both arms), Arthritis (knees and fingers), Diabetes. Ruptured disk L-4, Severe degenerative damage L5-S1, ACDF C5-C6

Stumpy
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 7/2/2012 3:45 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks guys yer I have two kids under five I am miserable at work but leavening is not an option at the moment money is to good my wife is great but when I'm away I can hardly get in touch when I need to talk to someone like today I wake up ring her 5-6 time finally get in touch and she's out shopping and its to hard to talk I tried but I she was pre occupied with chiseling a dress for her freind so I did even get to talk to the kids witch is heart breaking for me they are what keeps me going so when I don't talk to them I have a crap day I'm going to keep pushing myself I can see myself breaking down before things get better but il keep trying for my kids I don't want them to no there dad failed thanks for listening guys it is helping and I'm thankful

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 7/2/2012 7:22 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey, you got us now, so we can help you. Keep trying, don't give up. If the job becomes too much you can always quit. Knowing that should help take some stress off.

Keep opsting and know that we care,

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Kaely
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 619
   Posted 7/2/2012 3:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Don't push yourself to a breakdown. It's much better to get some help first. You really have to take care of yourself first, so that you can continue to take care of your family.

Have you tried setting up a time of day that you will call to talk to your kids? Maybe if it's scheduled then your wife will know you'll call and not be too busy?

Also, have you seen a doctor about your depression? I think it would be a good idea for you to do so. Perhaps some counseling or antidepressants might help.

Keep posting, it really does help to talk things out. You are not alone!!
Chronic pain, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Tennis Elbow (both arms), Arthritis (knees and fingers), Diabetes. Ruptured disk L-4, Severe degenerative damage L5-S1, ACDF C5-C6

Stumpy
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 7/2/2012 6:17 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi yer I had been on antidepress pills but they make me sick we do have a time set on day shift but night shift is different . I can't find the time to take care of myself my family needs me to be the money maker and to pay for the bills and medication and keep the roof over there heads I no I have to try to look after myself but some times I need just one person just to ask if I'm ok . U use to love the job but now not so much I'm so glad iv found this website it's realy helping me get stuff out thank u

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 7/2/2012 7:50 PM (GMT -6)   
Maybe be keeping your eyes open for another job. But just take it one day at a time. Try not to project into the future if you can. It helps to stay in the moment. I hope that you feel better soon. Take care,
Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Kaely
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 619
   Posted 7/4/2012 4:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Well if you drive yourself to a breakdown, you won't be able to support anyone. Have you tried more than one antidepressant? Sometimes it's just trial and error until you get the right med.

I'm glad this website is helping :) Talking things out can sometimes make a world of difference. Another thing you might want to try is just going for a walk. Walking is an easy way to ease a bit of depression. You really do need to start taking care of yourself.

I would definitely be keeping my eye out for a new job. You shouldn't have to feel pushed around and picked on at work. Does your wife have a job?
Chronic pain, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Tennis Elbow (both arms), Arthritis (knees and fingers), Diabetes. Ruptured disk L-4, Severe degenerative damage L5-S1, ACDF C5-C6

Stumpy
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 7/4/2012 4:52 PM (GMT -6)   
Na my partner is still at home my youngest is only 1 so she looking at going back to work soon I'm looking at going with a new company soon but I still have 7 shift before I go home I can go for a walk at work because were near a working mine site this web site is helping its letting me say what I need to say it great to have people listen :)

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 7/4/2012 5:05 PM (GMT -6)   
If you have only 7 shifts (days???) before you go home, that will go by fast. Then you go home for how long??? Let us know. We all really do care about you. You might want to talk to your doctor about medication for yourself. Or work out something to where you can go to some counseling when you go home for awhile.

Know that we care about you and want you to feel better. I am glad that you have another job lined up. We will help you get through this time and soon you will be feeling better. Keep trying...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Stumpy
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 7/5/2012 3:05 AM (GMT -6)   
Yer 7 days left then 7 days off il look into medication but I don't want to use it if I can help it . Iv just trying to quiet smoking so that is playing on me aswell

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 7/5/2012 5:28 AM (GMT -6)   
Oh yes, quitting smoking makes things harder. So do keep that into consideration. I do hope that you feel better soon. Coming home is going to make a huge difference. Hang in there until then.

Know we are here for you...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Stumpy
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 8
   Posted 7/5/2012 7:36 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks guys il keep trying . It doesn't help when the drillers in a bad mood at the start of the shift it makes the shift drag on as I'm all ways on edge but I won't be with these guys much longer so il just have to push on the only break I get at work Is when I fill the water truck up witch takes about an hour to do so il use that time to de stress and look at the positives

Kaely
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 619
   Posted 7/6/2012 5:14 PM (GMT -6)   
Yeah I fought taking meds for most of my life. Now that I've been taking antidepressants I can't imagine why I didn't get them sooner. They make life so much more bearable for me.

Your wife will probably be happy to be getting back to work soon. Two children under 5 would wear me out fast! I can see why she's usually busy. Like I'd said, maybe a schedule for calls would make that easier.

I'm glad we can help you feel a bit better :) talking things out can be very therapeutic.
Chronic pain, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Tennis Elbow (both arms), Arthritis (knees and fingers), Diabetes. Ruptured disk L-4, Severe degenerative damage L5-S1, ACDF C5-C6

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 7/6/2012 6:13 PM (GMT -6)   
I am glad you take time to look at the positives. A lot of us have trouble doing that, but it makes life much easier and nicer. Keep up the good work. Keep trying and keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

amerigoldusa
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 2
   Posted 7/7/2012 10:04 AM (GMT -6)   
Hello Stumpy and others that have responded! I agree with you and can't stand my job either. I was recently terminated from this very position that I dread. I too was a doormat for a micromanaging boss that never knew what she wanted and would get upset and think you were incompetent because she would constantly change her mind about projects and tasks. This was my fault because I'm not a mind reader! I am on the quest for a total career change. I have decided that sitting in an office full of negative people that don't want you to succeed and don't care about you is not good at all!
My family life is no better. I have a husband I never see and own a home with a brother-in-law that never goes anywhere or does anything. Talk about making bad decisions. My life pretty much sucks all the time. I can only hope things get better. Oh yeah and I'm also in debt up to my elbows. Sometimes it's hard to function everyday. I'm glad there are sites like this that exist to help others with their issues!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 7/7/2012 7:14 PM (GMT -6)   
While you are waiting to change jobs, if the driller comes on in a bad mood, don't let it effect your mood. I know it is hard, because it does rub off on others. But if you remember that they are the sole owners of that mood, you can sometimes get by without it effecting your mood. It may take practice, but it can be done. Before you know it, you will be at your other new job.

Best wishes,

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 7/7/2012 10:29 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Stumpy:  After reading all the posts above I can see that you have received some excellent advice.  I sympathize with you about your work situation.   I have been there in the past and I understand how miserable and disabling it makes you feel.
 
I like everyone's ideas about having a set date/time to talk with your wife and especially your children.  I'm not sure if you have the capability for this, but since you are away from home so much it might be more rewarding for all of you if you could talk via Skype.  That way you and your kids could keep up your connection.
 
Hang in there and as hard as it understandably is, try to find at least one positive in each day.  It might help keep you going.
 
Cass

Inxthexskyxwithxdimonds
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 7/8/2012 1:31 AM (GMT -6)   
Hey man, I'm new to this website myself. I kno exactly how it feeling but, you need to stay strong remember it not just supporting ur family but itself as well. you don't want your feeling to start coming out at people you love. If I were you I'd start looking for another job though. Since it seems to b the cause of your unhappiness.
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