i need help dealing with severly depressed husband of 3yrs

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dulce83
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/9/2012 2:41 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi. We have been married for 7 years but after my husband came back from his deployement 3yrs ago he has been diagnosed with severe depression. He is getting therapy but I see no signs of improvement. I need help in understanding his depression. We have a five year old, a three year old, and a 2month old baby. I work 13hours a day and am the primary parent. I am overwhelmed. I sometimes feel like I have been a single mother for 4yrs and I'm exhausted emotionally and physically. I've already told him this but due to his depression he is like a wall. He makes no comments. I want to be supportive but I'm just too tired to keep allowing him to sleep all day and isolate himself from his family. I love him but feel like I'm starting to resent him for his actions due to his depression. I need advice on how to cope with his actions. I get easily angered with him and find myself always counting to avoid an angry outburst. Today for example he left me alone at walmart woth a crying 2 month old and a 3yr old without saying a word to me. I waited by the exit for several minutes then had to find him in the parking lot in the car. T I had no idea where he had parked the car. And when I found him he hadn't the slightest idea of why I was mad. Either I have unrealistic expectations or he has lost reasoning... or maybe a mix? I don't know... someone help me before it gets worse please.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42434
   Posted 7/9/2012 5:16 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi And welcome to the forum. I can understand your being upset with him. If you want help dealing with him, I would suggest going to a counselor that makes you feel comfortable talking about it with. They can help you with coping mechinisms and help you through this. It sounds like he is kind of taking you for granted. That is sad. Is he able to work anywhere? That would take a load off of you and maybe you wouldn't have to work so much.

Take care and keep us posted.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

dulce83
New Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 7/9/2012 12:46 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you Karen. I talked to one therapist but she basically told me that for me to see any improvement she would need to see him. He doesn't want to go to any therapist except his and the lady I was seeing simply told its going to take time, to not look at the big picture so as not to get overwhelmed and that I'm doing a great job. (I'm not trying to be egotistical) So... yea not helping. Maybe try another therapist?

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42434
   Posted 7/9/2012 1:15 PM (GMT -6)   
I would see another therapist if you can. But she is right in not getting overwhelmed. Take this one step at a time. There is so much that he needs to do for himself, and it is going to be a gradual process, so she really isn't wrong telling you that. You are doing a great job, so she is right there again. I guess she is saying that it is going to take time, and that you should deal with small issues as you go along with this. And that is right. You can't rush it and neither can he. And you wont see any huge changes, they will be subtle. It will be like one day you will notice, yes he is getting better. And he will. As long as he keeps trying. Work on you now, destress, relax, and take this one day at a time. There are no easy answers when it comes to depression. It is kind of a way that we grow. And progress. It builds character, though we would like to build that in a more pleasant way, but it is a part of our lives. You will get through this and we will help you get there. One day at a time.

Take care, try to enjoy the rest of the day... It is finally cooled off here... Yay...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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