Someone help please

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Inxthexskyxwithxdimonds
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Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 7/9/2012 2:15 PM (GMT -6)   
What do you do when you are madly in love with one of your best friends? I've known this kid for about three years now and I've never meet someone like him in my life. I feel like the best part of me is missing when he's not around. The only problem is he has a girlfriend but, she is not a good person to say the least. Sadly he doesn't see it because she acts like a completely different person when he's around. I don't want it to seem like I'm trying to break them up cuz he knows how I feel about him but at the same time it kills me to see him being lied to like he is. I'd rather him be with any girl in the world over her. All I want is for him to be happy whether that includes me or not. But at the same time I want nothing more than to be his girl. I feel like I feel like I've found my soulmate but I can't be with him. Has anyone else been in a situation like this? Please I need advice on this. I feel it's one of the roots of my depression.

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 7/9/2012 3:31 PM (GMT -6)   
It sounds like you are in love with him and he is in love with somebody else. If it is meant to be it will, if you are meant to be with him you will. But it takes time. Don't do anything to alter the situation. If he is truly your soul mate, then you will know.

I am sorry if this makes you depressed. But that does happen in life. Take it one day at a time. Go with the flow of things. Have confidence that if you are meant to be together, you will. It is just a matter of when. I hope he gets over this girl soon. I hope she doesn't hurt him. But you have no control over that. The sooner you accept that part, the better it will be for you. You have to live your life, with or without him, the more you do that, the more appealing you will be to him. Don't put your life on hold for this guy. Like I said, if you are meant to be together you will.

I hope that things work out for you, in the meantime, be happy with what you have.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Inxthexskyxwithxdimonds
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 7/9/2012 5:39 PM (GMT -6)   
That's what I've been trying to do but it's difficult. Out of every relationship I've had This kid is the only guy that genuinely seems to cares for me. I can honestly say I've never meet a guy that treats me as well as he does, not even my father. I think that's my biggest problem though.

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 7/9/2012 6:46 PM (GMT -6)   
When he treats you kindly, it helps you to feel better in general and about yourself. But you can't rely on that. You have to feel good on your own. And if he comes along and it works out, that will be fantastic. We want to think that when somebody makes us feel good that that person is meant for us. But that is not always so. We can't depend on that person to always make us feel good. Often when we get to know a person really well, we start to see they're not perfect like we thought that they were. I don't want to sound disappointing, but that happens when we get to know people well. So what you are seeing now is only on the outside or what he wants you to see. I am just saying that nobody is perfect and we can't depend on other people to make us feel better. Do for you, take care of you. If in the future it is meant to be, it will. It is so easy to fall in love. It feels good, doesn't it? Cherrish the feeling of being happy when he is around and accept it for what it is. But don't forget to work on you. And accept that he has a girlfriend. That can be the hardest part I imagine. But it is a fact and you have to respect that for him. I hope that it works out for you.

Take care of you... Be happy...

Hugs, Karen
 
 
I had to come back to this because I am talking to you like you are a teenager and I remember we were discussing medicare on another post.  May I ask how old you are???  Thank you...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Post Edited (getting by) : 7/9/2012 5:50:18 PM (GMT-6)


Inxthexskyxwithxdimonds
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 7/9/2012 10:02 PM (GMT -6)   
I kinda am I'm 19. I mean I do respect that he has a girl friend. It's not like I act on my feelings any further than telling him cuz it was eating me alive. It's not like I have a problem with him having a girlfriend I have accepted it. I'm just finding it insanely hard to move on from him. I hate that I can't control my feelings. I mean your right I haven't fully accepted if I still have feelings but what can I do? I'm trying to get him off my mind but I'm not even interested in anyone else. I don't want to love anymore I know he doesn't want me obviously. But I still have these feelings I really don't know what to do.

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 7/10/2012 5:39 AM (GMT -6)   
It is totally okay to have these feelings. Hopefully they will subside in time. It takes time to heal. I am glad that you have accepted that he has a girlfriend. One day at a time with moving on. It is hard to control feelings that you have for somebody. And it is okay to love him, as long as you know he may not love you back. But you never know what is going to happen. Just don't interfere in the relationship, he would be very angry at you if you did, and it might ruin any chance of you two being together.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Inxthexskyxwithxdimonds
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 22
   Posted 7/10/2012 10:03 AM (GMT -6)   
The past few weeks I've been getting much better with it and being able to actually talk to sOmeone about the situation has given me more hope. I just hope I can over come this. I've never been so bent out of shape about a guy in my life. Although I guess I was never really ever in love though, at least not like this. That was the one thing that really gets me is how much stronger my feeling are for him than anyone else I've ever known. The fact that I see him on a daily bases doesn't helP me much either, I don't want to stop being friends with him. I'd rather have him in my life as a friend than not at all.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42609
   Posted 7/10/2012 12:54 PM (GMT -6)   
You have probably heard this a thousand times, but there will most likely be more than one guy in your life that you feel this way about. So just be patient and see what the future holds for you. In the meantime, get on with YOUR life...

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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