I dont know where to start but I want to give a summary. I have dating a woman who has a major tradegy in life three years ago losing everything from a job to a boyfriend dying when they started dating(died three years ago). We started as friends but after about a year of going out ect. we started to become intimate and try to start dating. Ever since we got close she has taken a turn for the worst and just kicks me everytime we get close.
I have found medications(by accident) and after all her crap I told her I knew about the drugs in a heated debate because she wants to blame everything on me. When I told her I knew she hung up the phone and threatened to call the police. Five days later I am in her house talking to her. I am obviously freaked out that she would threaten the police so now I am scared.
She dumped me and went out with another guy for a week and admitted to me that she did it to get rid of me but she says she still wants me. I have endured this push pull thing now for four months and I finally walked out after she told me she has a wall around her heart and after three months doesnt think of me as her boyfriend because she has made lousy decisions with men and that no man will ever hurt her like the last one did. I try telling her that I am not the other guy but she is so cold to me that I finally left and left her with no contact.
Now she is texting me that she is sorry and that she would like to talk, but the truth is I am scared of her telling me how everything is my fault and that she thinks that I am crazy. All she does is tells me how bad men are including her girlfriends husbands, ect. She is so angry everytime I do something nice and it just makes her treat me worst for being good to her. There is alot more to this but this is my first time writing so I am hoping if there is a person who can describe their feelings of depression with me I would appreciate it. I care for this girl deeply and have tried to show her I am there for her. She acts normal but then closes down and pushes me away. Her last thing was that she thought we should stop being intimate because she says that is confusing her and me. Im confused because we do great and then she just kicks me and throws the most intimate details of bad stuff in her life and past at me that I dont know what to do. She has been used abused ect. I want to be there but she just throws it at me like its normal conversation like talking about the weather. I have backed off and now she is contacting me. I want her but I cant be disrespected anymore. It hurts to much to care and have it thrown back in my face. I admit it is upsetting and I do let her know it verbally because she wants to start fights for no reason. Thank you, I am just freaked out by all this.