hiya just needed to vent and i came across this website so hello lol, i always act like im coping to my family as i dont want them to worry or think im weak, guess thats abit silly really.. basically split from my partner of 4 years a few months back, we have a 2 year old daughter together but i had to leave him because of his violence and controlling behaviour and it was beginning to affect my daughter... he caused me alot of grief, trying to break into my temporary accomadation the council gave me to get away for him and is now due in court for assaulting my friend. I also had to replace everything i had as i made a quick get away and left everything, and which he refused to give me back even when i went with a police officer,( to not breach peace) and was still on the tenancy, but he changed locks... I have had involvement with solicitors, had to quit my college course as i lost loads of coursework from moving so many times to stop him finding me and also grew an anxiety as he knew which college i was at and made me paranoid he were following me.
my question is when will everything get better??? i thought it would once i left him but i just feeel back to square one? I have no job, now no college qualification which i was then due to go university to study social work, i just feel stuck and lost on my own. I have no friends and my family have that motto to just get on with things, which i do and im thankful for there help but sometimes i just want a cuddle and to be told im doing a good job because i fee like i have failed my daughter, i cant even support her. i get panic attacks at night because i always feel like someones trying to break in, i just feel like a wreck. ive been to the doctors who seems to think i am depressed but am waiting on councelling,my family doesnt know, they dont believe in that sort of thing. sorry to ramble on, its hard to stop when you have kept it all bottled inside.
To make matters worse my daughters dad has given up on her, all cause i asked him to do anger management classes as i didnt trust him to have her on his own, i hate this :(