New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
[ << Previous Thread | Next Thread >> ]

Kaely
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 619
   Posted 7/24/2012 3:00 AM (GMT -6)   
When I was in my early 20s I had two children that I had given up for adoption.
They are both back in my life now and I am extremely grateful.

This morning when I woke up I was shocked to see a grown woman posting a psychotic rant on my daughter's Facebook page. This woman is my daughter's adopted mother. She swore and insulted my daughter and called her ugly.

I was stunned when I read it. How could anyone treat my kid that way. I've always known in my heart that giving up my kids was a mistake. I had hoped to give them a better life, I was a mess and very poor and didn't see how I could give them the lives they deserved.

This morning I learned it was a far bigger mistake than I had realized. Money obviously didn't make this woman a good person. She was horrible to my child. Both of my children, actually. She didn't raise my son but she was horrible to him.

All of this was because my daughter got snakebites. (mouth piercings) Like that would even matter in the great scheme of things. When I read the things she said to my daughter I just started crying. What she did today showed just how horrible she was to my daughter. I blame myself because I gave the kids up.

I'm really hurting over this.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42434
   Posted 7/24/2012 6:13 AM (GMT -6)   
We can't change what we did in the past. You had good reason to do what you did. And I am sure she treated them good most of the time. She is just upset now and showing her true colors. But that was then and this is now. Are the children still in her care? Or are they in yours now? How old are they now?

Money doesn't make a good person. It can help, but I think you thought she would be a good mother. So don't get down on yourself. Plus this is in the past now. Is your daughter with you now? Or on her own? Words can be cruel. The lady could have just made a mistake in what she said. Maybe she doesn't snakebites and it slipped out. Try to give her the benefit of a doubt. She might have been shocked at what your daughter did. But just show your daughter as much love as you possibly can at this point. It will get better.

Keep posting Kaely,

This is just a bad thing that happened and it is just the ladie's opinion, which means squat... I don't think she thinks your daughter is ugly, maybe the piercings are ugly to her.

Please don't blame yourself. Obviously you and your daughter have a relationship now and that is wonderful...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Kaely
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 619
   Posted 7/24/2012 6:22 AM (GMT -6)   
My daughter is grown now. Fortunately she lives on her own now. She had told me how this woman treated her as she was growing up and it was awful. I had kind of hoped she was exaggerating but after what I saw this morning I know she is not.

I will not give her the benefit of the doubt, the things she said were awful. I can't even repeat the things here because she swore so much, but the gist of it was that my daughter was ugly and sponged off people and was somehow a bad person because she isn't rich. It was disgusting.
Chronic pain, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Tennis Elbow (both arms), Arthritis (knees and fingers), Diabetes. Ruptured disk L-4, Severe degenerative damage L5-S1, ACDF C5-C6

Kaely
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 619
   Posted 7/24/2012 6:23 AM (GMT -6)   
oh and just for the record (and this is not just me being biased) my daughter is beautiful. She has to beat guys off with a stick lol.
Chronic pain, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Tennis Elbow (both arms), Arthritis (knees and fingers), Diabetes. Ruptured disk L-4, Severe degenerative damage L5-S1, ACDF C5-C6

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20186
   Posted 7/24/2012 6:33 AM (GMT -6)   
with much healing compassion,

jamie.
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

Kaely
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 619
   Posted 7/24/2012 6:35 AM (GMT -6)   
THANK YOU JAMIEE AND HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY?
Chronic pain, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Tennis Elbow (both arms), Arthritis (knees and fingers), Diabetes. Ruptured disk L-4, Severe degenerative damage L5-S1, ACDF C5-C6

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20186
   Posted 7/24/2012 6:49 AM (GMT -6)   
getting ready 4 bed.
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42434
   Posted 7/24/2012 7:10 AM (GMT -6)   
It sounds like she is jealous of her. Which happens. I am sure your daughter is beautiful inside and out. I am sorry this woman was so cruel. I hope your daughter can take it with a grain of salt and ignore her. Don't let her take it to heart. She doesn't have to deal with the woman anymore. She should unfriend her on fb so she doesn't have to read that anymore.

I hope that you are feeling better and can have a good day. Don't let this woman get to you or your daughter.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7385
   Posted 7/24/2012 7:14 AM (GMT -6)   
Kaely,
I can imagine how you must feel.  But remember that is just a feeling, try to seperate the facts.  Write them down if you have to.
When you adopted your children out, it was the best thing at the time in your world, I am sure.
You can not control other peoples actions.
You CAN talk to your daughter now and minimize the hurt and pain, without judgeing the adoptive Mom.
Everyone has their own crap, we can not know what it is, but we can recognize it when it shows up. Do a work around with your daughter so she understands.  If lines of communication are good with your daughter besure that there was no abuse going on.  If suspected, then maybe some therapy is needed.
 
Kaely, remember, "do not punish the punished" we have already suffered enough.  Put your energy and power into solutions! God Bless!
 
Trina
Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.

DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

Kaely
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 619
   Posted 7/24/2012 8:56 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks Karen, I made sure to tell her I love her and that she's beautiful and a good person. She knows she has a bio family that loves her and thinks very highly of her and hopefully that helps.

I don't know if she wants this woman in her life or not, I stay out of that. That's something she has to decide.

Trina, I did make sure to tell her she's loved and that she is not one bit ugly. I'm still just FLOORED that anyone could call themselves a parent yet do something like that.

My daughter and I talk almost every day now. I know there was a lot of mental abuse. I'm trying to help her with that. She wants me to move to where she lives. If I get my disability next month I'll be moving there soon.

She'll have her own place but I'll be nearby so she can drop in when she wants. I think it will help her a lot to have someone close by who loves her to pieces. She's already planning her food list of stuff for me to keep in the house for when she's hungry lol. She's such an adorable kid.

I may not have money but I have love.
Chronic pain, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Tennis Elbow (both arms), Arthritis (knees and fingers), Diabetes. Ruptured disk L-4, Severe degenerative damage L5-S1, ACDF C5-C6

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7385
   Posted 7/24/2012 10:12 AM (GMT -6)   
Kealy,
Love is an awesome start!
Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.

DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

Kaely
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 619
   Posted 7/24/2012 2:15 PM (GMT -6)   
I talked to my daughter a few hours ago. She is doing ok, we talked about the situation for a while and she seems like she can deal with it.

She tends to say 'It's fine' which I don't let her get away with. I told her it's not fine and that kind of behavior is unacceptable. No one has the right to call her names and insult her. I let her know that she is beautiful and loved.

We chatted for a while until I was satisfied she's ok for the moment. She eventually told me to go take a nap and she'd do the same lol.
Chronic pain, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Tennis Elbow (both arms), Arthritis (knees and fingers), Diabetes. Ruptured disk L-4, Severe degenerative damage L5-S1, ACDF C5-C6
New Topic Post Reply Printable Version
Forum Information
Currently it is Thursday, June 21, 2018 12:34 AM (GMT -6)
There are a total of 2,974,025 posts in 326,238 threads.
View Active Threads


Who's Online
This forum has 161194 registered members. Please welcome our newest member, nakamurakayleen.
295 Guest(s), 4 Registered Member(s) are currently online.  Details
Girlie, fawad malik, RAbid, boundssilva