Posted 5/7/2005 10:18 PM (GMT -7)
Reading your post made me think is was just like me. 10 or so years ago, I owned my own company and worked my arse off. I could clean 2 super large houses a day when working alone. When I assigned a team to me, we would clean up to four a day. I lived a very active life. Now, I am a hermit. I feel useless and unimportant too. I too have epilepsy and can't drive. I have to depend on my husband for everything and thank God for him. Family is 8 states away so that's not an optiion. I am taking Depakote, 1500 mgs AM and 1,500 mgs PM. Started on dilantin when first diagnosed. That didn't work so I was put on Neurontin. Didn't work. Depakote works well, and I have my levels checked every other month. My husband is a wreck and never knows when he will walk through the door and find me dead or having a stroke. It's hard for him.
Being depressed comes with the territory. Think about how different our lives are from others who aren't depressed or say the're not and then add the seizures and you have a mix for total depression. The way I cope with depression may sound weird, but that's just me.
When I am really down, I get out one of my
"comfort feel-good" movies like Steel Magnolias or A League of their own for a laugh. I also do things around the house like cleaning a closet of waxing the cabinets. Anything as long as I can push my depression out of my mind. Then I think about the poor people that have died in the war, their families, 9-11, innocent victims of violence and I pray a lot. God and I have an understanding. When I call His name, He comes running. He is always there, He doesn't falter, He doesn't turn away, He loves me and comforts me, He always forgives me when I have done something displeasing. He is the first person I count on. Remember, you had to crawl before you learned to walked. It will not happen overnight. I will put you in my prayers. God bless!
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.