want to cry, but at my desk

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jessid
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 7/31/2012 10:13 AM (GMT -6)   
this is the hardest part.... doing life... the past couple of days i've been fair, but now i'm here at work and i feel so overwhelmed right now and i'm trying so hard not to cry. i just did a major mistake because i can't consentrate and i'm worried i might get written up. if that happens that will ruin my future plans. i'm trying to breath and stay relaxed, but all i want to do is hang out in the bathroom stahl and cry... maybe someday i'll post something a bit more positive, but as of right now, this is where i'm at. i'll check in an a couple of hours

ExProud
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 46
   Posted 7/31/2012 11:41 AM (GMT -6)   
Wow, this is exactly where I am! I've been doing OK for a couple months, not great but I was out of my horrible phase of depression, or so I thought. But this morning I woke up feeling not so great after a poor night's sleep, and here I am at work wanting to cry, feeling terrible, carying on, but on the inside I'm feeling awful and I can't get away from it. Very worried that I might relapse and be stuck for a long time again, god I really hope not. I hope you can feel better I'm down in it with you if that's worth anything.

jessid
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 7/31/2012 12:10 PM (GMT -6)   
it does mean something, at least i'm not alone... this too shall pass right? i'm working on concentrating on just this hour. doing ok for just this hour. and next hour i'll concentrate on that one too. i'm going to lunch in 5 min and have 5 hrs left after. how about you?

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7391
   Posted 7/31/2012 12:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Hang in there both of you! I know it seem real bleak right now. Depression is like this a roller coaster, remember?

3 weeks ago life was not work the coffee in the am. Now I am somewhat better. Breathe, use your skills, think of something that makes you calm. IT will pass.

Be still and know that peace is yours.
Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.

DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

ExProud
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 46
   Posted 7/31/2012 12:38 PM (GMT -6)   
I am just not getting anything done today, feel bad about it, but I just want to run off somewhere. I was doing OK for several weeks. I just can't focus at all today. i have 2-3 hours left and believe me the countdown has begun. I think I need a counselor because I've had so many ups and downs this year but the one I tried I didn't feel good about. Apparently it's hard to find a good therapist, not sure what to try next.

jessid
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 7/31/2012 1:15 PM (GMT -6)   
thanks bnotafraid,..you are always uplifting.

exproud, you're going to make it today, and i would say if you're not feeling good about the therapist you have now, buy all means swith it up

my problem is finding time to see one or my psychitrist, my work make it's very diffacult to do so. my insurance only allows me to get in every two weeks and varing times. so i'm working on just trying to get in to see some one

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42436
   Posted 7/31/2012 2:37 PM (GMT -6)   
I wish you all a better day.

BNA, Your posts are very uplifring all the time. Thank you for that.

Take care all...

Hugs...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

jessid
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 7/31/2012 3:32 PM (GMT -6)   
my mood has picked up since this morning. not 100% but not where i was. so that's a good thing.
 
Karen- you're amazing, i love how you make time for us all and truly are understanding. don't know how you do it, but i'm glad you do do it.
 
ExProud-you've been on my mind these past couple of hours. hope you're doing better. i'm at 2.5 hrs and i'm out of here.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42436
   Posted 7/31/2012 4:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you so much. That really made me feel good. It is really a pleasure to be able to chat with all of you. Even when some are having a hard time. It kind of gives me a purpose. I don't know that I will always be here, but as long as I am able to, I will...

Take care my friend...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

ExProud
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 46
   Posted 7/31/2012 7:22 PM (GMT -6)   
jessid, thanks for starting this post when you did, it was remarkable timing. Having said that, I'm no stranger to this "making it though the workday" thing. It's amazing how impossible it seems on some days and it can be fine on other days.

The worst of it for me is I had a rough patch that I thought was behind me, so i was in "oh-no it's back" mode for much of the day. I think I need to get some therapy, I'm going to make a few calls tomorrow.

And you're so right, Karen makes this forum what it is, and it's meant a lot to me.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20190
   Posted 7/31/2012 8:35 PM (GMT -6)   
with much kind healing compassion 2 all,

jamie.
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42436
   Posted 8/1/2012 6:55 AM (GMT -6)   
I am glad that you are going to make some calls about therapy. It really can help if you get a good therapist. It can change your world. Coming here helps too because you get different views on things. And you can make decisions as to what helps you athe most. I hope that coming here helps you with everything. We find friends here that really help us with things. I have made a few.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

ExProud
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 46
   Posted 8/1/2012 7:57 AM (GMT -6)   
Feeling better today, a good night sleep is helping I'm sure. Sorry I made this post all about me yestderday, occasionally I hijack a thread, when I start them they don't seem to get this much response, i guess it's an artform huh?
 
Thanks to all who shared and offered support.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42436
   Posted 8/1/2012 9:16 AM (GMT -6)   
Exproud,

I am glad that you are feeling better. That is always nice to hear.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

jessid
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 20
   Posted 8/1/2012 1:06 PM (GMT -6)   
thank you ladies for being there yesterday

exproud, i don't look at it as hijacking, i look at is as joining (it was our thread) :)

i needed all the feedback.

take care,

-Jess
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