telling friends and family about your depression

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New Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 5/8/2005 7:28 PM (GMT -6)   
Since recently telling two of my closest friends about my illness i have debated whether to widen
the 'circle' of people who know about it and how to preserve relationships that are becomming strained by
my condition

While both were initially helpfull and understanding it has become increasingly difficult to talk to both,
since it makes my condition worse if i feel that it might be upsetting for them deal with me in my present state.
It is also apparant that i am starting to alienate them because of the heavy nature of my illness
and despite their best efforts i see them starting to avoid me and our relationships becoming strained. I wonder
how people have managed or otherwise to keep relationships two-sided and happy, despite such an obvious
bais being placed upon ourselves.

I also have the dilemma of telling other friends who it might not otherwise understand why i am
not my usual self. I would be interested in views upon whether it is worse to suffer any stigma associated with
the illness or whether it is best to suffer in silence depite cost to relationships. Is it fair/harmfull to tell people
without detailing the nature of the illness and its effects.

yours appreciatingly


Never Alone
Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 23
   Posted 5/8/2005 9:07 PM (GMT -6)   
jimi ihave walked that road alot it doesnt matter what they think its what you think if you feel someone needs to know then let them know it may help the alternative is a slowly demishing relationships honest is best this way they can make up thier own mind what to do my marraige suffered really bad till i discused it with my wife if they need to understand better take them to a therepy session i hope this helps
                          I have walked the road of recovery
                          for sometime now
                          I look behind and see progress
                          though slow and alone it was
                          I look foward and see no end
                          I am alone.......
                          then a hand touched each shoulder so tender
                          so I looked to both sides and I found friends
                          who dont walk behind nor ahead
                          but by my side
                          I am not alone.......
                          and through my endless journey
                          I hope to see them reach     
                          the end of thier road of recovery
                          I will always be here
                          but  NEVER ALONE
                          I walk with my friends

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
   Posted 5/8/2005 9:08 PM (GMT -6)   

I don't know what the correct answer is to your question . . . but I can tell you waht I have done.

I did share with a couple close people, like you. And you are right . . . it is hard for them to really 'get it'.

I, like you, stopped sharing because of repeating myself and feeling less than understood. BUT, after I made really good progress for several months, I shared selectively with people who I thought might benefit from my experience. I have found that this still (years later) works best for me.

I still think it is important to have a couple key people who try to understand and can walk along beside you.
In His Grip,
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptylene, Salagen, Lotrel
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Regular Member

Date Joined May 2005
Total Posts : 122
   Posted 5/9/2005 7:41 AM (GMT -6)   

Hey Jimi -

I am new here and, to make it worse, I can't answer your question. Here are some things to think about though? Do you think that your friends don't know that something is wrong? Do you think that you are hurting some of them by not wanting to be around - I mean do you think that some of them may think that you are mad at them?

I remember once a friend (who hadn't been too friendly for about 6 months) said "I am sorry I haven't been around. I've been depressed." I felt a lot better and knew better how to try and help her more.

That being said I have also been told that "I am just too depressed a person to be friends with" which is kind of funny in a weird way. Can you imagine someone saying "Your cancer has just gotten to serious for me to be your friend anymore." NO! It is depression and it sucks.

All that aside my closest friend - my "domestic partner" although I never was domestic and am certainly not now - knows what is going on and how serious it. You have to have told at least 1 person the totality of how you feel - no matter how bad it is and that is for your protection. I marvel at his need for clothes to be folded! Why?

Good Luck.


Thanks for the help.
Most people call me dammy.

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