I have decided to call the dog (whose name has been Truman for 2 years) Norm. As on Cheers. As he is too lazy to do anything but lie on the couch (which is funny since I am too lazy to do anything but lie on the bed) so if we could just agree on a laying place it would probably be OK. Anyway, besides being lazy Norm also always seemed to forget about the one person, Vera (me) who loved him the most. Prozac arrived today (brought by my "Norm's" favorite "Uncle"
I might add so now I am taking an anti depressant - again. I take Xanax also to try and calm me from having seizures (but I found if you take 2 instead of 1 you can fall asleep and pretend) Not Recommended. Maybe Prozac will at least make me skinny again!
I know rationally that I should go talk to someone. I know rationally that they are there to listen to my problems. I know rationally that they too have a life and have spent the day listening to a lot of sob stories, some needed to be heard and some were just people needing someone to yell at. Rationally I know all of that. Rationally I know that they too need a break. Irrationally, I think I should be it. I spend the hour trying to make them laugh. It is not like school where I am trying to be the "favorite mentally ill" one. I just don't want them to hear all this stuff from people and get depressed themselves.
It is like playing ping pong inside my head - Rational? Irrational?
The good news is that I just got a lead on a work at home job that sounds like something I would really want to do - but I don't know if they want someone who telecommutes and really commuting, besides being illegal right now for me, isn't rational.
My bf/domestic partner - whatever you call him - said the nicest thing to me today (now yesterday). He is the one who sees all of this but he knows that he is the reason that I am in this town (he got a better job). He said "If it will make you happy I will go home (being mine as we are in his home) and chop wood for the rest of my life." This from a stockbrocker! OOPS - financial planner.
I took the Prozac around 8 - now I am up.
I know this is irrational but I almost wish that I had bipolar disorder rather than jujst depression - at least then I could vacuum!
See you all later.
Thanks for listening.
Norm (Truman) says hi to all the pets out there.
Thanks for the help.
I hope that we can all help each other.