I'm soooo sorry that you were treated that way
. I have a dear friend who has a similar story and it just makes me want to scream! I called her up one day (the friend) and told her to pretend that I was her mother and to pretend that she was sitting on my lap and that I was holding her tenderly. I then told her all the things I thought she might want to hear from her mother (like, I'm sorry I didn't protect you from harm and I'm sorry I wasn't the loving, nurtering mom that you deserve . . . I love you soo much, but I was sooo messed up that I didn't function normally . . .etc.).
Dbab, write three letters to yourself from your uncle, your grandmother, and your mom. Tell yourself all the things that you want to hear from these people. It sounds kindof stupid . . . but it really is healing.
I hope you are in counseling and I hope you have been able to tell your counselor about this . . . he/she will be able to help you get a good perspective on things.
(((((((((((((Dbab))))))))))))) I'm so sorry that your childhood was robbed from you.