Sounds like you have been traumatized by this event.
Whatever the court says is what you must do. If your lawyer can not help you, you can choose another, possibly. If not, try to accept it and move on.
I suggest you find a couselor or therapist and start working through this. There is a lot of anger in you for the unfairness you are experiencing and you need to process this in a healthy way. IF you don't you will only add to you problems.
NO one ever said life was fair, but we do have live it.
Be still and know there is Peace.
Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;