dealing with allot right now ,, need someone to talk to

any addvice please help!
0
just get over it (icant) - 0.0%
3
MOVE ON YOU;LL FIND LOVE AGAIN - 100.0%

 
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cryingforhelp2012
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2012
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 8/19/2012 1:49 AM (GMT -6)   
so i moved to lasvegas like 8 months ago,
since then i have been staying with some family
who has already kicked me out once.
i had a job when i first got here then i lost it
that was like 5 months ago,
i think with high chance i may be getting a job here soon
ill find out monday or tuesday.
my boyfriend help me get it
since i been here ive being seeing him for like 7 months
he told me one night he loved me
but thats after i felt that i love him way before he ever said it
he is great,caring ,loving,honest, everything good i thought! and so hee seem.
i just find out like 4 weeks ago that he has been talking to other peoeple
i felt heart broken! i hated myself i blame myself that i didnt make him happy
well one day i got the nerves to call himout on it,
he said its because the relationship got boring
and that he thought we should do something that will make the relationship better
so he said he wanted to have a threesom*
so we did,
i felt some nasty and hated and lost, it eats me up everyday..
well he said that did it for him he went better he wasnt stress out anymore
and that it wasnt for us we wont do it again
well since then i found him messageing someone for two day while i was with him
talking about going on dates and wanting to have unprotected sex when they first meet each  other
at this point i had a panic attack that last for 2 days something big sit on my chest and never got off..
i got the guts to confront him,
he said he just feels like we can commuicate any more
and that we had to be more open so he said he stop and we became more open to each other
i felt like everything was cool and fine wee went on vacation in july then he spent my birthday with me on the 11th or july and we seemed to be awesome everything was working out it was love
well on the 24th on july i found out my boyfriend cheated on me with a 16 year old, im 19 and my boyfriend is 25
well then i called him out on everything and he told me he had also cheated on me 2 more time in the relationship once at the beginning and one four months in the relationship
i fill so lost and used and hated nothing has went right with me since i moved here and i cant afford to get out,
life has always been hard for me and is just getting harder everyday, i cant trust no one, i cant eat, or sleep , or think without feeling nothing anymore, i get sick everytime i think about him with someone elsa.
this job is taking to long to get, im broke , im bumming off everyone,
i cant take it im getting so phyiscal tired, im so so tired of being tired and sleeping isnt helping it,
i dont know what to do, about anything i love him so so so much i need him my body and mind tells me that,
i need someone to talk to some good addvice help please
 

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 8/19/2012 8:09 AM (GMT -6)   
HI there,

Welcome to the forum. I don't think it is going to be easy to trust your boyfriend anymore. You are always going to be wondering what he is up to. I honestly think you should move on, but I don't think it will be all that easy for you because you still love him.

Take it one day at a time. Maybe get some counseling for this. Somebody objective about your situation. I don't like the guy personally especially because he wanted you to do a threesome. Sorry about that. There are probably others that are a lot more open minded tthan me, and people do do it. So that is totally up to you. I think that bringing somebody else into the picture isn't the answer. You got to work the issues out between the two of you. If there were no emotions involved, it would be different, it would be just sex.

Keep posting, there will be others on with their opinions, in mine, he is being selfish and not treating you good.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7515
   Posted 8/19/2012 10:49 AM (GMT -6)   
Dear Crying,

I would be crying too!

What a bum! How much abuse are you willing to take? You are worth much more than what he expects of you and I don't even know you!

If someone asks you to do something that you do not like, DON'T DO IT! You have rights! Requests like his should also tell you that person does not actually care about your feelings. Think about this for a while.

You family most likely is doing some tough love with you. If you drop the boyfriend, you allowed back, right? Maybe? Think about that.

If you get a job, what is more important? The job is the correct answer, if not maybe you should look at getting some therapy for co-dependency issues.

Posting here will help, folks here will tell you like it is and support you
but you have to be proactive in changing yourself, we can do it for you.

Stay Strong.
Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7515
   Posted 8/19/2012 10:51 AM (GMT -6)   
PS I did not take you survey, life is not a survey. You need to learn to love yourself, before you can love anyone else in this world.

Once you learn that sweetheart, the rest is down hill. wink
Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7515
   Posted 8/19/2012 1:39 PM (GMT -6)   
You rock, JB!
Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

cryingforhelp2012
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2012
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 8/19/2012 9:42 PM (GMT -6)   
thank you all for your comments and addvice!
i do believe i may have some issues within myself that i could use help with,
my boyfriend swears he wont ever let it happen again that he didnt know how much he cared about me then, i cant trust a word he says, once a heart breaker always a heart breaker just because somebody broke there heart once apon a time ago,
i love him to the moon and back and would do anything to show him how i love him,
do i trust his word untill his actions prove wrong again or do i not give his actions a chance to??
thanks

Kaely
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 619
   Posted 8/19/2012 10:24 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Crying,

I agree with every word JB said, and y ou are 100% correct when you said once a heart breaker always a heart breaker.

What he is doing to you is abuse and no you should not give him a chance to do it again. He's already broken your trust.

I also agree with Karen that therapy may be just what you need. This forum is also an excellent place to talk to people who won't judge you and who can understand how you feel.
Chronic pain, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Tennis Elbow (both arms), Arthritis, Diabetes. Ruptured disk L4-L5, Severe degenerative damage L5-S1, L5 Nerve root displacement, ACDF C5-C6

cryingforhelp2012
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2012
Total Posts : 5
   Posted 8/21/2012 3:42 AM (GMT -6)   
thank you all for the addvice,
i have broke up with him but we still talk daily
he continues to tell me he loves me and how big of a mistake he made or 3 mistakes should i say
not much has changed beside us being broke up i still see him everyday he has tried so much for me to forgive him and go back to him, and at some points i just want to fall in his arms,,,
this is really taken a toll on me my heart feels lost and cold my emotions well emotionless is what i should call it i havnt felt anything in days i dont know what to do about it i feel so broken!!!

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 8/21/2012 6:25 AM (GMT -6)   
I agree with JB1, it sounds like he may be playing you trying to get you to take him back and I am afraid you are going to fall for it. Keep distance between you two.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7515
   Posted 8/21/2012 9:54 AM (GMT -6)   
Crying

I agree with JB and Gettingby, Sounds like he is doing the abusive dance. drawing you back in. This is the courting stage, then the honeymoon, and before you know it, he will emotionally if not physically this time, abuse you once again.

If you think back over your relationship, you will see the cycle.

You need to cut all ties with him and get some help! Go to a womans center or find a councelor the sooner the better.

the relationship is toxic and is not going to get better. I am so sorry to tell you this, but I am afraid it is the truth.

Be strong, be safe and get the help you need! We are here to listen.
Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

Recoveryme2day
Regular Member


Date Joined Jul 2012
Total Posts : 335
   Posted 8/23/2012 6:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Your young so its hard to get, it will get better, but it will never get better if you don't get some self-respect. Who taught you that is was ok for anyone to treat you the way this guy has? Who told you you were only good for one thing or not good for anything at all? Is this what you want out of life, are you going to cruise the H.S.'s looking for young meat for your old man to satisfy his sick and twisted desires on so he won't leave you? Believe me dear you have no idea how much sicker this can get and i hope to God you don't find out. But its up to you, no body is going to tie you down and nobody is going to ride in on a white horse and save you either, you need to save yourself.
Fibromyalgia, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Brain Tumor 2nd, crainiotomy 2002, radiation 2007, mild scoliosis, carpal tunnel, surgical menopause, 44yrs old and on disability since 2009.

Kaely
Veteran Member


Date Joined May 2012
Total Posts : 619
   Posted 8/24/2012 10:11 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey Crying,

This is the hard part. Being strong when he is being all sweet and loving. Keep telling yourself it is a lie. I agree with the others, break off all contact with him. Then you won't get sucked back in to his lies.

I know how hard it is because I've been there. My ex husband was abusive. There are women's shelters you can go to. They can help you get back on your feet. You MUST cut off all ties with this jerk. Take care of you.

I know it's really really really hard to do this but you have to. Things will only get worse if you don't.
Chronic pain, Depression, Fibromyalgia, Tennis Elbow (both arms), Arthritis, Diabetes. Ruptured disk L4-L5, Severe degenerative damage L5-S1, L5 Nerve root displacement, ACDF C5-C6
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