First off, I couldn't stop laughing read your post about "even my dog don't like me". I swear I was cracking up. Then I read the other posts to go with yours and I was really cracking up. so much so that I had to run to the BR before I lost it. Now I'll tell ya about my pets. One is a Dalmatian and the other a "hot dog" as I call her. I don't work because I am "Physically challenged". It starts about 6 AM. They bark to go out. I'm off the hook for this one cause my husband is still home. After he leaves around 8 or so, they start. They want breakfast. They don't leave me alone until I fix them breakfast. As I am serving them their breakfast, I tell them not to bother me for at least an hour. BUT, what happens when you eat???? They have to POOP! So, I gel my jacket, shoes, sunglasses (can't go out without them) and take them out. Every time I tell them, "Don't you dare run and make me come after you"! Yea, right. They do it anyway. Now who is the stupid one?. Me or the dogs? I AM....then I have to chase them. It's worse in the winter. I have to darn myself with sweats, boots, sweat shirt, heavy jacket, gloves and a ski hat. (it is very attractive) you know, a Kodak moment. So, they run again with me yelling at them and trying to trapse after them in 3 ft or more. I can't even walk in the grass let alone the snow. I say the same thing every time. DON'T make me come after you. OK...now you are asking why don't I put a leash on them. Because I really don't want to be a human ski board!
They bother me at 10 AM for another walk and a treat. I can't even take a shower in peace. They have to come in there with me. I can't even go to the bathroom in peace. I have issues there. I need total and complete concentration. If I am up stairs, they want to be up. If I am down, the want to be down. The little can get up and down the steps. They are spiral and my Dal will not even attempt it. OK, bout 1 PM, they bark and bark at me for nap time. I AM NOT KIDDING! If I don't go lay down with them on the bed, they keep whining until I do. Rather than listen to them, I lay down, like a kid. Then, when it's time to cook, they go up. My Dal will lay there the entire time I am cooking under my feet. I guess she is waiting to see how many scraps I drop. (she's a little pig) she even eats salad. Okie dokie, then we sit down to eat, they are done faster than I can turn around to walk back to the kitchen. NOW WHAT!!!! I usual cook them beef liver. They love that. When we sit to eat, the Dal whines the entire time for her "daddy" to feed her off his plate. He has really gone off the deep end. Hey, all the other dogs are eating "ol Roy" from wal-mart while mine are eating a rib eye. Again, who is stupid? ME! They have to lick the plates. The little one will not eat nothing but cereal for breakfast and if it's the week end, I cook a big breakfast and politely ask them how they want their eggs. I'M not kidding. They just sit there as if to say, "Lady, I don't care how you cook 'em, just give me that bacon and sausage"! We have to bribe then to take a bath, to cut their nails, get shots at the vet and to come home when they are running down the field where the horses are. At 8 PM, it's bedtime. If I don't come to bed at 8 PM, they start. I can't even do anything. They just sit and keep whining. That's it. That's my day. I thought my kids were grown and gone???(scratching head)
Thought I'd give you the same laugh you gave me!
PS....What's a sex life???
PSS....Where do they go when they misbehave??? Time SNOUT"!