Any people-pleasers here?

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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2012
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 8/20/2012 6:59 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey guys,
I just recently self-diagnosed myself as being a people-pleaser (sociotropy).
I am really passionate about this subject and was wondering if anyone here knows anything about it. I am trying to build up a community where other people-pleasers can support each other.
Sometimes, it feels like I am the only person with this problem!!!

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 8/21/2012 6:09 AM (GMT -6)   
I didn't realize that there was a name for it other than people pleasers. I have always been that way too. But once I got fibromyalgia, I learned to say no. I am just too sore and tired to do things. I liked your site. Good luck with it. I hope that you continue to post. This really is a good place to talk.

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7515
   Posted 8/21/2012 10:01 AM (GMT -6)   

liked the site, good job.

I have to say that I was a chronic pleaser til about 2 years ago.

I started to recall abuse memories from childhood and now I don't please as much. I have learned to say no and choose who I want to help for the most part. It is still hard, but at least I stop and think before YES comes flying out of my mouth.

Good luck with your site I am sure you will have many people flocking to it, one by one.

Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

Regular Member

Date Joined Apr 2011
Total Posts : 52
   Posted 8/22/2012 1:08 PM (GMT -6)   
Oh, I'm so glad you started this thread.  I have been a people pleaser all my life.  I don't want anyone to be mad at me so I end up doing things for people I don't want to.  I get mad at myself for doing it and then I get depressed.  I have being reading books to help me with this.  I once heard this man say people pleasing will kill you.  Go ahead and tell them no.  It's up to them what they do with it.  You can't control other peoples emotions, just yours.  Somedays I can do it and then somedays I go back to my old people pleasing ways.

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 8/22/2012 2:35 PM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for posting Cee7Jay1,

I lilked what you said. It is hard not to do what others want. But we have to take into consideration how things are going to effect us. I think we all have this problem.. So none of us are alone.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2012
Total Posts : 350
   Posted 8/23/2012 2:18 PM (GMT -6)   
I have been a people pleaser all my life. I was able to stop saying yes when I just physically got so bad and couldnt do it. Now, those people who I would help do anything in the past, even if it made me more tired or in more pain, where are those people now? They know how to say no very easy, or not to care. The whole success of learning to say NO, is to know who to help or to not help. Being a good person will always be a part of me. I still want to fix and help people, but now I know WHO to be there for, even if its a simple phone call. It will be interesting how your new site grows. Very best regards....Cathy
I am 61 years young. I have neuropathy in both feet and hands. I have spinal stenosis and arthritis in my back. I am bipolar and with panic attacks. I cannot walk. I choose to stay home all the time. I love living in the country. Its very peaceful.
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