I just caught your post and I'm so sorry to read that you're going through a rough time with your wife. It's evident how much you love her and want to make this marriage work, but I know that's hard if she isn't on the same page. And, I have to agree with the other poster that it sounds like some counseling may be in order here. It's really hard to say for sure what might be behind her behavior towards you. Of course, I know you said you didn't think she'd be willing to talk with anyone. So, maybe you should consider meeting with a therapist on your own and getting some input on how to respond to her? Perhaps down the line she'd be willing to go with you and get involved in some couples' counseling. Just a thought.
Lastly, I'm not sure if this would be helpful or not, but I recently heard a broadcast while at Focus on the Family called "Changing Your Marriage Through the Power of One." And, it talked about how to restore your marriage-even if your spouse wasn't on board. So, might be something to check out. I believe you can still listen to it online at their website.
Well, my prayers are with your, friend. I hope you and your wife are able to renew your relationship and find some support during this time.