Posted 5/12/2005 5:43 AM (GMT -6)
First off, most people who suffer from depression do keep things bottled up because they, (myself) don't like to admit defeat. They (me) don't like to show that they have failed. Personally, everything I did as a child all the way up until I got married at age 19, had to prove everything to my parents. Case in point, as rather trivial one, my Mom would tell me to do my homework, and I would tell her I did do it, and she would ask me to get it so she could see for herself that I did it. In a lot of ways, things are still happening in my life, but in other directions.
I think what yoour friend meant was that until you come to terms with your own feelings and excess baggage, before you can tackle other issues.
On the subject on "how to make others happy", I'm gonna lay this out because once again I went through the same things. No one likes to be around a chronic complainer. No one wanted to listen to my tails of woe, in addition to haveing an illness for which there iss no cure for. I was angry that I got it and didn't know how it would play out in my mind. Years back, if someone asked me how I was doing, it took me and hour to fill that person in. I gave no thought to how others may be feeling and didn't give them a chance to tell their tales of woe. After a while, it get old real fast and I swear every time I walked into a room with family and friends, they would aviod me like the plague. It took the spirit out of me, made me feel small and unloved, no one eever broached the issue of my illness and didn't acknolwege that I even had one. After this, I went into a "comfort zone" anf never came out. Between the pain killers and all the other emotions I had, I became a prisoner in my own house.
On the subject on "being avoided" and talking behind your back, they probably are if you are a "chronic" complainer. After I grew to realize what I had done and what I was, and what I needed to be, things fell into place but little by little. It's like the old addage, "Well, you didn't gain weight overnight so it's going to take as long as you gained it to lose it". To be brutially honest, it's not your co-workers responsibility to counsel you about your personal matters, as a matter of fact, it is none of their business. That's betwee you and your "higher power" to work out.
I hear the "ego and selfish" but you could be doing these things not even realizing. Why don't you put yourself in their place. Would you want to hear a co-worker gripe, moan and groan on a day-to-day basis? Lastly, friends, good friends are VERY hard to come by. True friends are one's that are always there for you and you for them. They are trustworthy as you should be to them. They mind their business as so should you. Your "so called" friends are not friends at all, but you have to ask yourself if you have pulled them down or tried to before. Perhaps you could offer a lot more support for them and a little less for your problems. See a counselor for your issues. Hope this helps BUT you are not alone!
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.