I have figured out a weight loss solution...

damwinston

Regular Member

Joined : May 2005

Posts : 122

Posted 5/12/2005 8:26 AM (GMT -7)

Remember I told you all about the magic bullet cuisinart thing? And all the fruit and veggies.

Well, let me tell those of you who don't know (my boyfriend included) that fruit does NOT last forever.

It is going bad. And we still have apples, pears, kiwi, nectarines, raspberries and blueberries left. Did I mention the half eaten banana on the counter??

I can't even go in the kitchen because of the smell.

And what if we get fruit flies??

Even the dog (who we all know doesn't like me) is hanging out in my room to get away from the kitchen - although not close to me!!

So for those of us having problems with weight and anti-depressants here is the solution. Buy a lot of fruit. And then watch it go bad. You won't want to go into the kitchen I promise.

dammy

P.S. I am hungry

Thanks for the help.

I hope that we can all help each other.

AlwaysRosie

Veteran Member

Joined : Jan 2005

Posts : 8616

Posted 5/12/2005 9:06 AM (GMT -7)

Great thought Dammy . . . aquire some ants crawling all over that stuff and you'll really be set!

I was thinking of something like Purina People Chow. I could ration myself the way I do my healthy dogs. If I kept no other food in the house and had only one healthy item to munch on . . . I think it would work!!

In His Grip,

AlwaysRosie

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Having2LeftFeet

Regular Member

Joined : Feb 2005

Posts : 472

Posted 5/12/2005 10:49 AM (GMT -7)

ROFLMAO.......I can't take it anymore! I am sitting here all alone cracking up at your posts. Fruit Flies???? Your dog???? HUH! LOLOLOL

"Lefty"

There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.

Having2LeftFeet

Regular Member

Joined : Feb 2005

Posts : 472

Posted 5/12/2005 10:53 AM (GMT -7)

I forgot to tell you this. Have you ever cleaned out the frige and came across something that you didn't know you had? Now you have the challenge of trying to see if it's animal, vegtable or mineral. It's hard to tell with all that "green fuzz" all over it. Thank God He invented the "throw away" containers or I wouldn't have 1 tupperware in my house!

"Lefty"

(I'm still cracking up) You bring joy to this site. Don't EVER leave!

damwinston

Regular Member

Joined : May 2005

Posts : 122

Posted 5/12/2005 12:55 PM (GMT -7)

OK. Forget about the weight loss idea. I got him to bring home some tacos for lunch - but I ate them in the bedroom not the kitchen (which must be like going to McDonalds and getting a Big Mac and a diet coke - they cancel each other out).
He admits that maybe he went a little overboard - maybe my foot!
I don't even want to take the trash out (OK that is nothing new) because of the smell.
OMG - What if all the neighborhood cats and dogs start coming around because of the smell? Maybe Truman will get jealous and start liking me!!
What if you can smell it outside?? Do I live in the smelly house on the street??
P.S. Finally finished my mental health paper thing - yes I see the irony. Now what am I going to do? I have GOT to find a work at home job.
Glad I made you laugh Lefty but let me tell you it isn't so funny when you can smell it!
dammy

Thanks for the help.

I hope that we can all help each other.

damwinston

Regular Member

Joined : May 2005

Posts : 122

Posted 5/12/2005 12:56 PM (GMT -7)

btw thank you for the compliment lefty.
dammy

Thanks for the help.

I hope that we can all help each other.

stumpytroll

Regular Member

Joined : Mar 2005

Posts : 39

Posted 5/14/2005 4:20 AM (GMT -7)

Hi all
I too have mouldy friut and unidentified substances in the fridge, but I also have 'unidentified body parts' in the freezer! These are leftovers that I have stored without labels - they all contain unidentifiable meat and sauce. They have become know in the family as UBPs.
I also have a chest freezer and am only 5feet 3ins so have things living in the bottom of the freezer that have now invented the wheel as I can't reach to clear it out. (Husband says they've invented the internal combustion engine and democracy). I swear on quiet nights you can hear them partying!

As to weight loss- well I'm the expert. Try the following:
Anything you eat more than a mile from home has no calories
Broken biscuits(cookies)/chocolate bars have no calories - they've leaked out
Food of the same colour has same calories eg mushrooms and white chocolate
Anything you eat in secret is therapy and has no calories
Anything eaten accompaied by a diet drink has no calories - the drink cancells them out
Finishing leftovers from children/partner/parents etc is calorie free - you are simply limiting the amount of waste being produced and are therefore an environmental champion and are a credit to society
Anything eaten in the car whil driving has no calories - they are blown away by the wind
finally anything eaten during or after exercise has no calories as the exercise cancels it out eg a walk to the fridge allows you to eat 1 mars bar, a bag of crisps(potato chips), and a large piece of cake. Cheese nibbling is for the journey back.

These things have worked well for me - I'm currently around 300 pounds!

Luv and hugs

Stumpytroll

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