Help_Depressive Spouse

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New Member

Date Joined Aug 2012
Total Posts : 1
   Posted 8/27/2012 5:03 AM (GMT -6)   
I am totally new here and I don't know what else to do, I'm so confused.
Please can anyone give me some advice/guidance on how to deal with a spouse who is severely depressed and works away.
All of the research I have read says not to give people who are depressed complete space and to remain present in thier life because this will remove their safety net from them. However as we are away from each other for anything from 3 days to 2 weeks at the moment due to work I don't know how to give him his space and also let him know I am here.
This is just one of the many things that is puzzling me at the moment
Any help would be gratefully received

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42212
   Posted 8/27/2012 6:13 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Hertzangel,

Welcome to the forum. It sounds like he is getting plenty of space working away from home. I suggest gently reminding him that you are there for him. Did he ask for space or are you assuming he needs it? Let us know.

I hope things get better for you both.

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7295
   Posted 8/27/2012 8:20 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to the forum Hertzangel!

Have you spoken to your spouse about his depression and suggested seeing a doctor, even the family doctor regarding it?

Also, I agree with Karen, don't assume anything, communicate gently and in non-violent ways with your spouse that you are there for him and ask what it is that he needs. He most likely will not be able to tell you, this is a symptom of depression, confusion. He will know you care though.

Remember depression is an illness and needs to be treated as one, you have started to educate yourself, try to educate your spouse and get him the help he needs.

Stay Strong and keep posting here, it is a good outlet for you and people do care!
Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

New Member

Date Joined Aug 2012
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 8/28/2012 8:59 PM (GMT -6)   
I think she is trying to say they work away from each other & she read she should NOT give him too much space/time/distance alone.

Can you guys skype, text, talk on phone? Can you send him out with a card or a note for him to open 1 a day that tells him how much you care and are here for him?

I do agree with what was already said that he should consider seeing a Dr.
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