Only the lonely

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Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1257
   Posted 9/9/2012 6:46 PM (GMT -6)   
I have a terrible problem with loneliness. The bad times for me are when I come home in the afternoon and all is quiet and then I know I have to make my dinner and sit alone again and eat my dinner. Once I get to about 9 PM I manage to do OK as I always seem to find some mindless program on TV or I read. And then I go to bed.
I am on meds so don't suggest that. MY p/doc went through about 6 different meds before we found the right one and it does work for me.
I am active during the day. I play mah jongg twice a week and  I volunteer and I take quite a few classes. This year I have met exactly one new friend. I can count on one hand the friends I have to do things with. Sometimes I call a friend at night but there are only so many times you can call someone. I do go out on weekends about once a month with a friend, to a movie or dinner. I am trying to sell my house so I am busy cleaning closets etc.
Most weekends my oldest son comes and spends the weekend with me and we run errands and go for dinner. I know I am counting on my son to keep me company and stave off the loneliness. He doesn't have many friemds and he enjoys coming home for the weekend.
I have an eye problem so I can't drive at night so that limits my activities. I am not one to join a meetup group. That is not me.
I guess what I am saying is how do I cope with these terrible feelings of loneliness. I cry a lot and sometimes I think my heart will break. I have heard that very lonely people die much younger because of loneliness.
I can't even figure why I am writing all this as I don't know what would help. I am a people person and I need people to talk to at night but I quickly run through my list. Keeping busy is not so easy when you are feeling low. It is hard to make a move to do something. Don't suggest I get a roommate. I am going to be moving to a small condo. I am hoping I will meet people in a condo building.  I guess I have run out of anything else to say. Just wanted to get these feelings out.
 
Aurora

Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1257
   Posted 9/9/2012 7:34 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you for your reply. I live in a small community and I would have to get into the city to find a meetup group and since I can't drive at night it's a problem.
 
But your idea about religion is a good one. I am a member of the church I joined when I was three years old. I used to go every Sunday but I stopped when our Pastor retired and I wasn't thrilled with the new one. But I think I really should give it another try. I just don't want them to snare me into joining all of their volunteer activities. I already do enough volunteer work.
 
Aurora

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7436
   Posted 9/9/2012 8:22 PM (GMT -6)   
Aurora,

You are blessed if you can count on one hand a number a friends. Most people believe it or not don't have that.

Try the church, be open minded to new ideas you do not have to volunteer however, remember that is how you get together with people. Just be aware of your boundries. Perhaps you could join a Bible study group or start one.

Keep posting here, people care and are supportive perhaps you can make a few friends here!

Trina
Moderator
Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

CassandraLee
Veteran Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 900
   Posted 9/9/2012 9:34 PM (GMT -6)   

Aurora:  I have thought of you often and wondered how you were doing. I am so sorry you are still fighting the lonliness.  Last November I moved out of my house with my daughters and now rent in a condo community.  I have made one good friend and its nice to occassionally chat with my neighbors when I walk my dog.

I too am still lonely but that one change was the best for me.  Where are you going after you move?  Perhaps, that will be good for you too.

I am sorry, but I haven't been posting a lot in awhile.  I have been a steady reader but I haven't been in that place where I have been able to share and write.  Thus, it's nice to pop out and say hello.

Thinking fondly of you,

Cass

 

 

 


Aurora60
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jul 2006
Total Posts : 1257
   Posted 9/13/2012 4:54 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you all for your helpful replies. I will give church another try,
at least go to services and talk to different members. I am going to a new group tomorrow to play mah jongg so I will sew how it goes.
I am feeling better now that Labor Day is over and the summer is over. My boys are around and my oldest is very helpful and willing to take me on errands. He does call me every night. So I guess I am doing better.
Cass, it was so good to hear from you. I am glad you were able to move with your girls. I have much work to do to get my house ready for selling but the market it not good at this time of year so I will try to sell it in th spring. I will stay in the same area, looking for a small condo.
I am trying and I am doing better. It's always a struggle but I will keep on trying.
 
Aurora

greetingz
Regular Member


Date Joined Aug 2012
Total Posts : 247
   Posted 9/13/2012 6:47 PM (GMT -6)   
So sorry to read of your loneliness. I agree very much that if you would, reaching out again to a church of likeminded people is going to be very curative. Getting ones mind off of oneself is very important. I will pray for you as I have felt the same things in my life too. Having a pet can do wonders too.
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