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Deacon Blues
Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 303
   Posted 9/9/2012 8:57 PM (GMT -6)   
Tired of the pain. Haven't been here but maybe once in the past year, sorry to be a fair-weather (or should I say rainy weather) poster. But it has gotten really bad. I feel as though I have lost touch with reality. I feel like I am a spectator watching life around me. I find no joy in this anymore. I have no reason to feel this way, I have a great family and friends. I hate longing for death when all I really want is life. Life is the greatest and the worst all at the same time, and that just really sucks. I need to contact someone tomorrow, I feel as though I am going nuts...I can't live with all of my mistakes, I can't forgive myself because I know today I will do the same things that I hate. I say mean things to the very people that I would die for, my family. It makes me want to vomit, among other things...I wish I could do this life over. I can't see any purpose in living any longer if I have to continue down this nasty road. It's one thing to hurt myself, but I can no longer hurt my family, they are way to good to have some POS like me dragging them down. Any good Psych's in mid michigan area? Just airing this crap out I guess, I have too much pressure on me...have a good day, dB

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42209
   Posted 9/9/2012 9:27 PM (GMT -6)   
How far are you from Traverse City? That is where my shrink is.

If you can't stand being mean to others and hurting them, then put it in your mind to stop. YOu can stop you know... Habits can be broken...

Keep posting. Be kind to others. It pays off...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Deacon Blues
Regular Member

Date Joined Oct 2006
Total Posts : 303
   Posted 9/9/2012 11:46 PM (GMT -6)   
I am totally nice to others. I just get tired of being everyone's punching bag. All I do is work and give to everyone else, and in return I expect to be respected and not provoked. I take it too far, but I do think that is at the core of it all. I would never, ever expect more out of someone than I do of myself...

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7295
   Posted 9/10/2012 6:26 AM (GMT -6)   

Take a step back and breathe! hold it 2,3 let it out. Try that a few times to calm yourself.

If you are a church goer, I would suggest talking the pastor, ministor, priest etc... Yes you need to talk to a doctor or therapist. It sounds as if you are on the edge of your patience. Once you calm down you will see things more clearly.

Sounds like you need to learn how to set health boundries for yourself. Karen is correct that you can control what you say and do to other people starting today. As an adult you are in control of what your body does.

We can not control other people or their actions. We can only control the way we react to them.

Stay strong you will get through this. This is only a minor speed bump in life.
Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;
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