Is my boyfriend battling depression?

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SKR
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 42
   Posted 9/10/2012 12:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi all,

Thank you for reading this and I would very much appreciate some advice.

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 years and we have also been so happy together. But within the space of a few months things have totally turned upside down and he seems like a completely different person.

He started being very quiet around me, wouldn't stimulate conversation, stopped wanting to see me and contacting me throughout the day. Very, very unlike him. He said he wanted space to think as he believed his feelings had changed. This is something I found very difficult to give him. In the end, I ended it on a whim as it was diifficult to see him so distant towards me. I regreted this as soon as I done it, went to resolve it ... and he didn't want to.

Three days later he texts to say how extremely sorry he is, that he loves me and misses me and that he needs sorting out. He promised to see a doctor about his feelings (or lack of)... trouble is he still doesn't want to see me until he's been... and then I can't guarantee he'll want to see me even then. If he is battling depression, I've made it clear I want to be there to support him but it seems that his main symptom of depression at the moment is that he just doesn't want to see me. He goes to work, to football and as far as I know hasn't withdrawn from anybody else. Is he using depression as an excuse here or could this be geniune. Should I give him the time he needs and hope he comes back and gets well or get on with my life? He wants no contact whatsoever, and hasn't even told me if he has booked a doctors appointment. He's completely shutting me out.

For 3 years he has been the love of my life, so attentive, my family loved him and he was the man I planned spending the rest of my life with. I never, ever saw this coming.

What do I do?

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42498
   Posted 9/10/2012 1:37 PM (GMT -6)   
Really the only thing that you can do is wait it out until he sees the doctor. If you call him and text him, you might push him farther away. I think if he didn't want to see you, he wouldn't even say wait until after he sees the doctor. He would of just ended it. He could be very mixed up in his feelings right now. Have faith that things will work out for the best.

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7436
   Posted 9/10/2012 1:53 PM (GMT -6)   
SKR

I agree with Karen. He must have feeling for you or he would not have called. Depression is a tricky illness and affects people in many different ways with many people have additional diagnosis along with depression.

Give him his space, let him take of himself. Gone with you life one day at a time and hav faith.

Stay strong.

Trina
Moderator
Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

SKR
Regular Member


Date Joined Oct 2007
Total Posts : 42
   Posted 9/12/2012 1:20 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you for your replies. It's only been four days of not being allowed to contact him and I'm finding it incredibly difficult...

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7436
   Posted 9/12/2012 1:31 PM (GMT -6)   
One day at a time, and yes it does get easier in time.

Stay Strong

Trina
Moderator
Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;
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