How to deal with these feelings..?

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TakeMeSomewhereBrighter
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2012
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 9/10/2012 11:14 PM (GMT -6)   
I feel like I could breakdown at any second. Like life isn't worth living. Like I could die and no one would care.
Someone please talk to me?
I just need someone else's opinions on what's going on.

theHTreturns...
Elite Member


Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20279
   Posted 9/11/2012 4:28 AM (GMT -6)   
HI. I STRONGLY RECOMMEND THAT U SEE YOUR DR 2
DISCUSS TREATMENT OPTIONS. DEPRESSION SUX BUT
WITH HELP IT DOES GET BETTER. MAYBE SOME
COUNSELLING WILL HELP U.WRITING STUFF DOWN
IS VERY HELPFUL, U CAN TAKE IT TO YOUR DR AS WELL.
TAKE SOME DEEP BREATHS AND TRY NOT ISOLATE.
KEEP POSTING, WE CARE.

WITH HEALING COMPASSION,

JAMIE
(USE OF CAPS DUE 2 VISION IMPAIRMENT))
EMOTIONALLY UNSTABLE PERSONALITY DISORDER,

RAPID CYCLING BI-POLAR DISORDER

REMEMBER TO LOVE YOU. BE YOU AND BE TRUE.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 9/11/2012 6:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi TMSB,

Welcome to the forum. I hope things have gotten better by now. Let us know...

Hugs., Karen...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7515
   Posted 9/11/2012 11:20 AM (GMT -6)   
TMSWB

Jamie as some good suggestions. I also suggest you talk to your doctor about your feelings.

In the meantime, practice deep breathing, mindfulness and perhaps meditation to keep you grounded and calm.

One minute at a time if you have to, one day at time.

Stay Strong, these feelings will pass.

Trina
Moderator
Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

zzwaldo
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2012
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 9/11/2012 3:04 PM (GMT -6)   
Hey ... I'm feeling the SAME way and I've been here before. Not going to give advice cause when you are in this dark
place sometimes you want to be validated. Consider yourself validated .... I hate this place and today of all days ...
all the people who left their homes to go to work not knowing they would never return to their families. Makes me
feel guilty cause I'm still here. At my age of 54 I can say that I do hold on to knowing that we don't have to feel this way.
Thoughts are with you.
I suffer from Major Depression Disorder and Anxiety (Chronic Complex Delayed Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). The Depression was diagnosed on 1996 and been on Effexor 300 m, the PTSD came full blown in 2008 when I turned 50 and is result of growing up with Paranoid Schizophrenic Mother from time I was two .... We all have a unique story but we do not suffer alone.

TakeMeSomewhereBrighter
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2012
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 9/11/2012 5:43 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you.
I've thought about seeing someone but never really had the opportunity to and if I did I bailed at the last minute.

I'm 18 and just finishing school and failing at it too.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 9/11/2012 8:32 PM (GMT -6)   
It sound like you may need to prioritize your time. I know that counseling and all that sounds scarey. But it really isn't. Once you get to know your counselor, it goes rather smoothly. It isn't always easy and it isn't always fast. But we are all a work in progress and we need to keep moving forward. Don't take your education for granted. Try to learn as much as you can while you are young...

keep posting and know that we care.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

TakeMeSomewhereBrighter
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2012
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 9/11/2012 11:21 PM (GMT -6)   
Ok.
I find it extremely hard to talk to people even my best friends or boyfriend.
I just can't talk about it to anyone let alone someone I don't know.
It's not that I can't explain what I'm feeling, most of the time I can, it's daunting talking about something so personal. I've always had trouble with opening up to someone and I have no idea why..?

I'm doing average at school at the moment, music is my main goal. I sing and play guitar. Although I haven't played in a while I did once enjoy it a lot. Everyday I'd come home from school and play all night long. I once played for 5 hours straight. No joke. I loved it. Now it seems more like a chore.. As my Dad loves music and encourages me to do it and when I don't he gets disappointed in me, I guess you'd say.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 9/12/2012 6:06 AM (GMT -6)   
Sounds like you have some talents going. It is hard to do things when we aren't in the mood, but try to practice anyway. If you can't do it you can always put it down. You sound like a bright person. Don't take that for granted. Keep trying.

I hope that you have a good day...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

TakeMeSomewhereBrighter
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2012
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 9/13/2012 11:59 PM (GMT -6)   
Over it...

TakeMeSomewhereBrighter
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2012
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 9/15/2012 6:02 AM (GMT -6)   
I think there's something wrong with me...
I have a huge secret, well a lie. That I haven't told anyone about. And I think I need to. It changes a lot!
I made up some things when I was younger and I haven't confessed to them yet. People still think they're true.
I made up that I was raped but It was weird. I sorta felt like it actually happened but It didn't?
I made up that my friend died. She did actually die but I didn't know her and she wasn't my friend. I'd never met her. I don't know why I did that. I think maybe to have a reason for being miserable all the time without people thinking that I'm just doing it for attention or something. It gave me an excuse.
I think people would think I was stupid if I said I'm upset for no reason. Well one I haven't discovered yet.

Should I confess? I mean I should but how..?
I've been too ashamed to. I don't even know how to approach it without people leaving me.. Every time I think I'm going to tell them I never do 'cause I'm so scared of being alone. I guess I need someone to distract me from whatever this sadness is...

HELP!?

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 9/15/2012 7:12 AM (GMT -6)   
I think it all depends if the lies effected anyones lives. Did you tell your parents you were raped? How old were you and how long ago was this?

It is easy to confess, maybe write somebody a letter. Are these lies that you told bothering you that bad? If not and it didn't effect anybody, then I would just move on. But if it had an effect on somebody then tell the truth and get on with your life. It sucks to be stuck...

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

TakeMeSomewhereBrighter
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2012
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 9/15/2012 7:16 AM (GMT -6)   
I didn't tell any of my family.
I was in year 7 or 8 when I started telling people, so I was about 14 or 15.
Even though it was a while ago I still use it as an excuse 'cause people don't understand why I feel sad and I have to have some excuse...

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42610
   Posted 9/15/2012 8:39 AM (GMT -6)   
If I were you, I wouldn't worry too much about it. It sounds like it happened a few years ago. But if it is eating at you, maybe set some goals to teel the people that you think are important. Maybe write a list of who you want to confess to and scratch their names off as you do that. I am sorry you feel you needed an excuse to feel the way that you did. You may have been depressed for a long time. Do you see a counselor? They would help you through this. For some people it is very important to come clean. It eases thier conscience. You may be that type of person. But I really think a counselor would help you through this. Plus we are here too.

I hope that you figure this out. But don't let it take away from your you time. Keep moving forward. You can do this.

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7515
   Posted 9/15/2012 10:15 AM (GMT -6)   
I think talking to a therapist or counselor to start would be a could idea.

You were so young when you created the lie, that it "feels" like a cry for help. I have met people in my support group in similar situations, trauma from early childhood caused their actions. They were as remorseful as you. The causes are too many to speculate on and everyone is different.

The best advice I can give you is to talk to someone who is professional. You might want to start with your doctor. They have to keep things confidential.

Somethings we do in life cannot be changed and we just have to move on from them. These are the tough lessons in life that make us grow stronger.

I am glad you feel safe enough to post honestly here, it will help you.

Stay strong.

Trina
Moderator
Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

TakeMeSomewhereBrighter
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2012
Total Posts : 9
   Posted 9/16/2012 6:40 PM (GMT -6)   
Yeah, it has sorta helped already. I'm seeing a doctor soon. When I make an appointment but its hard cause id have to get there and thats ok but then I can't tell my boyfriend cause he'll want to come with me and come in with me and then I won't be able to tell the whole truth cause of everything.
I want to tell him but I'm scared of what will happen when I do. I'm scared he'll leave me and then I'll be more alone.. He gets me through the days..

No i don't see anyone. I did once but pretended i was fine and they believed me.
And yeah its eating at me big time. I feel so guilty. I'm too scared to tell anyone that i lied that i want to run away and start over somewhere new. I've thought about it but then I'd be alone again..
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