Don't know what to do

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Lillabit
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2012
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 9/14/2012 12:56 AM (GMT -6)   
I had my first baby about two months ago, and have been on maternity leave the last ten weeks. The past six weeks I have been going in part time and just feel so overwhelmed. I was promoted at work when I was about three to four months pregnant, and thought that I could handle the promotion and new responsibilities. I didn’t want to turn the position down as I would need the extra money to pay for our new addition to the family. Now, I feel like taking this promotion has been one of the worst decisions of my life.

I do feel absolutely grateful that my abilities as a worker have been recognized and thus being promoted, but I feel so guilty for not being able to handle the new responsibilities. I felt like I was failing at my job before I had my baby, and now that I’m back (even though it’s part-time) I feel like I’m failing even more. I know I should be happy that I have a job, but I feel like I’ve been thrown into a whirlwind and I don’t know how to handle it.

All-in-all, the responsibilities that I have taken on with this promotion are tremendous and horrendous. The people I have to interact with on a day-to-day basis are too rude and impatient. I know all jobs have their ups and downs, but now I feel like all I have are downs, and I don’t know how to get back up. Since I have been off and spending time with my baby, I keep thinking to myself that I wish I could just spend my time with my baby and not worry about doing any sort of work for a very long time. And to me, I feel guilty for feeling that way because I know there are a lot of people out there that wish they have jobs and don’t, and here I have one and almost wish I didn’t.

I just don’t know what to do anymore since I feel so depressed with my job right now. I have been crying myself to sleep a lot these days, and sometimes wish I could either disappear or just throw myself off of a bridge. I wish I could go back to what I had…

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42494
   Posted 9/14/2012 6:37 AM (GMT -6)   
Can you go back to what you had? I would talk to them about it. Be honest, let them know you aren't ready for this job promotion.

Try not to let it get you down. One day at a time. Stay in the moment, and take things as they come.  Do you think this cold be a little post baby blues?  It is depression and can be very serious...

Hugs, Karen

PS Welcome to the forum. I am so glad that you have joined us...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7435
   Posted 9/14/2012 11:35 AM (GMT -6)   
I would also like to add that you are most likely not running on a full tank of gas, so to speak.

Being a new Mom is a huge change, and sleep deprevation is usually in the mix somewhere with middle of the night feedings.

I would not beat yourself up so much. Considering asking to go back to your old job is a good one, if you can do it.
If not, try hard to take one day at a time, one hour if needed to get through.

Life has its pot holes, but we still get by them!

Stay strong! We are here to listen and support you.
Moderator
Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

Lillabit
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2012
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 9/16/2012 11:33 AM (GMT -6)   
Thanks for the support, but I would not be able to go back to my old job. My old position has been filled and they would have to let go of the girl that was hired to take my place (and I would feel horrible if they did that). I also know that the company I work for is getting rid of the location that I work at; so now, I’m not even sure if they will keep me on and try to relocate me or just let me go. That has been the other part of my depression and anxiety lately. My supervisor comes this next week, and I can only hope they will keep me on and place me in another position that fits me better. I suppose I will just have to try and breathe and take it easy until I get some answers.

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7435
   Posted 9/16/2012 1:58 PM (GMT -6)   
You need to not forecast the future. I realize it is hard not to worry, especially with a new baby. However, you are only waisting a lot of good energy on things you have no control over at the moment.

If you want to be proactive, use the energy to put your resume together, make a list of jobs you would apply for if they do let you go etc. Make a positive plan.

Then if good things happen, you are in the clear and you can file all that away for another time.

Stay strong.

Trina
Moderator
Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

Lillabit
New Member


Date Joined Aug 2012
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 9/17/2012 2:50 AM (GMT -6)   
I am certainly trying not to worry about things so much because I know worrying doesn't really help. But I will brush up my resume and start looking for other possible jobs.

Thank you for the help and support.
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