Depression feeding off others?

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Angelic_Victory
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Date Joined Sep 2012
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   Posted 9/16/2012 10:06 PM (GMT -6)   
I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder and I feel like the Cymbalta mostly been controlling it. I have a counsellor but I'm not sure my theory is right.
My husband can be very moody. When he's in these moods he won't talk to me, spend time with me, or even do anything with the kids. These latest mood has hit at a time when my younger sister is about to have her third baby. My grandmother can keep my nephew ( he's 3) during the day but not at night ( my grandfather has stage 4 lung cancer). My brother in laws mom is going to take care of my niece since she works at her school. I volunteered to keep my nephew. He gets along with my kids and he and I are close ( I'm his godmother).
Well, my husband has gone through the roof about me volunteering to do this. He says it's because I didn't discuss it with him first but he stayed in bed until 7 pm and he's not talking to me. This whole thing has me feeling very inadequate. I can feel the depressed thoughts rolling in. Is my depression feeding off his mood or is it something else?

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42294
   Posted 9/17/2012 4:54 AM (GMT -6)   
This can happen, other people's moods or auras can trigger us. But Keep your aura clean and don't let him get you down. You did what you thought you needed to and there is no changing it now, so make the best out of it. I think it is possible. Your husband will be nicer because your nephew is there.

It sure sounds like you are dealing with a lot. So take it one day at a time to help you through. And pos there because we are here for you.

Hugs, Karen...
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

BnotAfraid
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Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7326
   Posted 9/17/2012 8:57 AM (GMT -6)   
It is definately possible that your depressive thoughts are feeding from others.

You also have a lot going on as Karen stated. Taking on the responsibility of other children without the support of your spouse is a huge task.

Be kind to yourself, but be honest, you are a good person. Remember to show yourself compassion and love so you can share the same with others.

IF you can squeeze the time in, I recommend the book "Lovingkindness" by Sharon Salszberg for a boost in self-love it is a short read but a powerful and eye opening book.

Stay strong in your journey. Keep posting here, we are here to support and listen.

Trina
Moderator
Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

Angelic_Victory
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Date Joined Sep 2012
Total Posts : 2138
   Posted 9/17/2012 7:18 PM (GMT -6)   
I really do have a lot on my plate. I have a hard time asking for help but he knows what all I am dealing with. It's a little heartbreaking when he decides instead of supporting me to add to my problems.
I have slipped all the way into a hardcore depression overnight it feels like. I just don't have the strength to care anymore. I hate feeling like this. It makes me feel like the worst mother in the world because I know they deserve better but I can't seem to pull myself out of it. Which means I just sink deeper and deeper. Sorry, I just felt like I had to voice how horrible I feel. :(
Nail patella syndrome, osteoarthritis, complex migraines, eosinophilic esophagitis, major depressive disorder, OCD, and fibromyalgia.

Meds: flovent 220 mcg, flexeril 10 mg, zonisanide 100 mg, omeprazole 40 mg, Cymbalta 60 mg

getting by
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Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42294
   Posted 9/17/2012 8:34 PM (GMT -6)   
We've got to get you focussing on you and moving forward whether your husband is being supportive or not. Some people just aren't. And you do have a lot on your plate.

Would you or do you go to therapy? I think it would help you to cope with everything that you are going through. And it would keep your moods up. Don't let this bring you down. Keep focussing on the now. And take it one day at a time. Seriously not thinking about tomorrow or the next day. Or even yesterday... Just focus on the moment at hand.

You can get yourself through this. And we can help you.

Take care and have a good night...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Angelic_Victory
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2012
Total Posts : 2138
   Posted 9/18/2012 1:37 PM (GMT -6)   
I was going to go see my therapist today but my car won't start. I told my husband and he said since my workplace is across the street he doesn't think getting my car fixed is a priority.
So now I'm depressed and feel like I've lost my freedom. I've been trying to meditate and just think about today but I got paperwork today that my kids dad, who hasn't seen them since they were 2 1/2 and 3 months, wants shared custody. Everything just has to hit at once.
Nail patella syndrome, osteoarthritis, complex migraines, eosinophilic esophagitis, major depressive disorder, OCD, and fibromyalgia.

Meds: flovent 220 mcg, flexeril 10 mg, zonisanide 100 mg, omeprazole 40 mg, Cymbalta 60 mg

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7326
   Posted 9/18/2012 1:51 PM (GMT -6)   
Can you call your therapist and have a session over the phone? Mine will do that once and awhile. It would not hurt to ask.

Try to think proactively for yourself, it will aid in getting the depression lightened.

Trina
Moderator
Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42294
   Posted 9/18/2012 5:40 PM (GMT -6)   
I totally understand how you feel about not having a vehicle. Your therapy sessions are very important. Can you get your car fixed yourself? Do you know what is wrong with it? It is important to be able to do things for yourself. Maybe call somebody and get them to help you.
Somebody who you know that knows about cars, or a garage.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Angelic_Victory
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2012
Total Posts : 2138
   Posted 9/20/2012 1:47 AM (GMT -6)   
When I'm in a downward cycle I find myself rereading every negative note, text, email, or message. I save them. I have a folder on my computer filled with them. They come from my now ex husband, my sister (siblings can say some of the most hurtful things) and even my mom.
I go months without even looking at that folder but as soon as I hit a bad spot, like lately, I reread them all. The voice in my head tries to convince me that all those bad things are true about me. I don't know why I do this to myself. I don't think I've even mentioned to my therapist. I know it's weird and I'm afraid it's crazy behavior. My mom threatened to have me committed in the past and now I'm afraid to admit my true thoughts and feelings because I don't want to be committed.
Sheesh, have I mentioned that I have issues? I'm normally not this needy or whiney. I think my grandfather dying has me unable to cope and I don't know what to do.
Nail patella syndrome, osteoarthritis, complex migraines, eosinophilic esophagitis, major depressive disorder, OCD, and fibromyalgia.

Meds: flovent 220 mcg, flexeril 10 mg, zonisanide 100 mg, omeprazole 40 mg, Cymbalta 60 mg

vrolik
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2012
Total Posts : 19
   Posted 9/20/2012 2:18 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Angelic

Remember the context in which the hurtful things were send to you. It is most probably not the true feelings of how your sister and mother feels about you. For that few seconds they might have behaved emotional, but I'm sure that is not how they truly feel. Everybody says hurtful things when they are emotionally charged and a lot of the time they don't even mean it.
Our perception on what people think and feel about us when you are down is usally clouded. Forgive them for being human and nasty and delete those awful messages.
You sound like a great caring person. I feel that persons that care so much are usally harder on themselves and put alot more pressure on themselves to please other people. Don't take the responsibility of other peoples bad behavior (your husband) on yourself - let them deal with it. If he is nasty to your relatives and kids, it is up to him to set things straight again with them, not you. He has to face the consequences of his bad behavior. You have enough on your plate. I am very sorry about your grandfather, that must be very difficult to deal with. Hope you feel better very soon.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42294
   Posted 9/20/2012 7:48 AM (GMT -6)   
Get rid of that folder. Ignore comments like that. This will just bring your self esteem down if you keep it. People say things in the heat of the moment that they don't mean. Do not ever save the negative comments. That is the worst thing that you can do to yourself. Especially when you reread them over and over. Don't do that to yourself...

I hope that you feel better soon Angel...

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Angelic_Victory
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2012
Total Posts : 2138
   Posted 9/20/2012 11:55 PM (GMT -6)   
So it is kind of weird even for someone with depression? My husband knows I do it and he's tried to get them off my computer. I feel like I need them, though.
My current therapist is not a psychologist, he's a therapist in a church group. I have loads of issues, I do tend to be a people pleaser and other stuff, would a psychologist or psychiatrist be better to help me work through my current problems?
Nail patella syndrome, osteoarthritis, complex migraines, eosinophilic esophagitis, major depressive disorder, OCD, and fibromyalgia.

Meds: flovent 220 mcg, flexeril 10 mg, zonisanide 100 mg, omeprazole 40 mg, Cymbalta 60 mg

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42294
   Posted 9/21/2012 6:33 AM (GMT -6)   
I think a professional psychologist or therapist would help a lot. You need to get rid of the negative stuff. It would really free you.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7326
   Posted 9/21/2012 8:08 AM (GMT -6)   
A V,

there is a saying in group therapy, "stop punishing the punished".

Why would you want to continue causing yourself continued pain by saving negative comments that don't mean a thing? Delete that folder!! It is doing you No Good. You can not control what other people say or do.

You have the ability to choose positive energy flow into your daily life or negative. We have enough negative without "choosing" it.

Look for the positive and choose it, follow it and claim it! A physc doctor maybe helpful for you, however listening to positive in what your therapist is telling maybe all the difference you need.

Stay strong and continue to post we are here to support and listen

Trina
Moderator
Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

Angelic_Victory
Veteran Member


Date Joined Sep 2012
Total Posts : 2138
   Posted 9/22/2012 11:20 PM (GMT -6)   
I wish there was a way to let life know that you are at your limit so it wouldn't throw you off balance. I'm just barely keeping moving. I have work, my kids, my sisters 2 kids are here until she's released from the vet, I pushed things too far with my fibro today and now can only walk like Frankenstein and only in short bursts, plus a migraine that had lasted 3 days but my husband comes home from work and makes it worse. I know he worked and I offered to make his dinner while he showered but he said no. After his shower I asked him if he was ok and he wouldn't answer me. He got dressed and was going back out and I asked to where, he said to the bar. I asked how he would get home and he said he didn't care.
I just feel like I'm so covered in responsibilities and I've always tried to be sensible and logical but I just break down now. I try not to cry in front of the kids but I can't see where I'm going anymore. I know with the fibro I'm going to have to give up being a cna do right now nothing is stable.

getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42294
   Posted 9/23/2012 6:04 AM (GMT -6)   
Try to keep your poop in t group in front of the kids. They get insecure easy. Keep moving forward.

Sorry hubby went to the bar. But maybe he deserved it. I hope that you feel better soon. Keep posting.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies
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