Depression/Anxiety causing other physical problems

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Treasurous
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2012
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 9/24/2012 8:57 PM (GMT -6)   
so.. I've been depressed with debatable ptsd, and Obsession disorder along with some positive results for schizophrenia. I have this... fear thats been around since i was 8. I had a near death experience and I never thought about the experience and my fear of death being the same. so forsome reason when a doctor asked me if it was all related to that.. I would say no. Because it started about 5 months later. time is... strange around the incident. all I know is... it would keep me up at night paranoid of bad things happening and at 8 I wouldnt know why. had no one to talk to. when I got 14 I tried to kill myself by drinking bleach , overdosing, ect.. I was in counselling, a few behavior centers and on and off meds all the time. But when a doctor finally tried to test me for bipolar and it came back negative and tried to tell me I had an obsession disorder and probably schizophrenia... I was confused. Its like when I hear a doctor tell me these things I can't see how they relate to me. But then I realized that I have very long periods throughout my day where I'm not here. I'm someplace else. and everything in this world seems so wrong the only logical answer is to die. And when I think about it I dont understand how it can make SO much sense. like its the only right answer and I have to die. and i still feel this way today at 21 years old. I stopped seeing that doctor immediately after he told me that. and I havent been able to be consistent with a doctor since. my mom put me on disability and its about to expire. I cant sum up the energy to see another therapist. iv'e seen so many. hate being around ppl. I feel like I'm wrong. my body heats up , my stomach hurts, and i have IBS, sometimes I can't breathe. I tried to start work and I had an anxiety attack my first day. idk if I should try to find another job or if I should go back to therapy and go for the review to renew my SSI thats going to expire. I have had it for 3 years. only went to therapy the first year before it even started. I didn't even know I was getting it till I found out my mom had been using it when I moved out. I can't... do it anymore. I can't make friends. I cant go out. I dont want to go to therapy honestly I want it all to just stop. I'm tired of feeling weaker than others. Even though I try so hard. its the little things that affect me. all my relationships fail beause I am so emotional. But I should be able to do this without medicine again. or therapy. Everyone goes through this.. but I feel like I'm the only one that sees that this world is wrong. its like I fall into this hole and I cant dig myself out. and I can't see anything but the inside. except when everything fails. I will be getting evicted in a week. can't get to the job I got. or a temp because no matter what I do , I'm using my half of rent to do it . I've given up my job. about to give up on my sister and my mom, and a wonderful bf. for so many more reasons. and I came here to day because... I dont want my life to end. But i feel like I can't anymore. some nights I dont even know if i sleep or just day dream. it takes me forever to get out of bed. sometimes I either eat too much or nothing at all i feel like I'm asleep sometimes because everythings so unrealistically pathetic in my life. a year ago I signed a lease on Newyears planning to kill myself on my 21rst birthday and I didn't. because I wanted to learn how to drive my own self to a good spot. maryJ makes me paranoid, doesnt help, Cigs are disgusting and make me naucious, alcohol makes my stomach hurt. thought about going back to school but my darn parents won't give me their personal info for my FASFA form. and the deadlines almost here. and after saying all of this to you guys... I honestly dont know what I came here for. I just... dont know who else to talk to.

Post Edited (Treasurous) : 9/24/2012 8:07:17 PM (GMT-6)


Treasurous
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2012
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 9/24/2012 8:58 PM (GMT -6)   
sorry if this doesnt make sense. I also have ADD. so... sometimes its hard for me when I'm not on my adorall.
I've realized that my IBS is related to stress, and so is my back problems and headaches, and probably my lack of sleep. My crying spells have gotten worse. and ... I've noticed that even during good times I can't phase back into what I'm doing after I phase into my darkthoughts. sometimes ppl ask me whats wrong so many times, i dont even remember what Im thinking about anymore. I can't stop thinking. its like this all day. all night. I try to get away from it. Its not just my room or my home that I don't have peace in, its my mind completely. and i can't pull myself out of it. I feel like I'm made out of silly putty.

Post Edited (Treasurous) : 9/24/2012 8:06:51 PM (GMT-6)


getting by
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42612
   Posted 9/24/2012 9:53 PM (GMT -6)   
I take abilify for obsessive thinking, it really helps. If you can learn to stay in the now. It is called mindfulness. There is a site, I think it called mindful.org. It could help you. It is so important to learn to be mindful. And to live in the moment. It keeps you from obsessive thinking.

Welcome to the forum. I am glad that you have joined us. I hope that you feel better soon.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia


fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

BnotAfraid
Forum Moderator


Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7515
   Posted 9/25/2012 7:50 AM (GMT -6)   
Welcome to the forum.

please try to calm yourself with breathing a taking. I feel that returning to the doctor and discussing medication is a priority you should consider.
Try mindful.org see what can help.

stay strong and post here for support we all listen.

Trina
Moderator
Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;

Treasurous
New Member


Date Joined Sep 2012
Total Posts : 3
   Posted 9/25/2012 5:10 PM (GMT -6)   
Thank you , trina.
exile target creature along with all creatures that share the same name. EZ win. take that ally token deck!
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