58 year old's life story

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Regular Member

Date Joined May 2007
Total Posts : 24
   Posted 9/27/2012 11:03 AM (GMT -6)   
   I am fairly new to this board and would like some help with problems that are arising in my life right now. Lately, I have been very weepy and things bother me a great deal no matter what they may be. I find that my job, which I have been at for five years now, is really getting me down. Its the type of place where you never get a thank you, good job or anything like that. I am a housekeeper so my work is really physical and everyday I am worn out. I come home and my body is so worn out that I have to go to bed by 6pm. This is what is envolved in my job, I have to clean 22 resident rooms, a common area, a kitchenette, a nursing lounge, 2 common area bathrooms. Basically I am  cleaning the entire unit. I start at 7am and the day ends at 3. By 3 I am basically just finishing my last room. I clean so much my hands are covered in dry spots and my knuckles dry out so badly that they bleed during the winter months. I wear gloves but they dont really help. We have a thing called a "shining star" given to an employee who exemplifies just that. They go over and above to help in any situation. Well lately, I see people getting it who I know are horrible examples of a "shining star". A co worker is so racist with her words and name calling of people of different nationalities has led me to stay away from her and end our friendship. Well you guessed it, yesterday she was awarded the "shining star"!!!!! Not only that but she screams and rants and raves at other co workers on her floor and gets away with it. Is it just me? Am I the crazy one here? This bothers me so much!!! I did tell my boss what she said to a new worker one weekend. She called some of the employees by a disgusting racial name and the poor woman didn't know what to say! My boss said NOTHING! All he said to me was "oh, that doesn't surprise me"...What the hell???? I don't want to say anything to the higher ups for fear of losing my job here. Enough people know what she did say so I feel that maybe one of them will say something.
      My life in general has always been a battle. One thing after another has happened to me. My relationships with men have all gone by the wayside. I have only had 2 marriages that ended in divorces and 2 other relationships that ended. My health is a constant downhill. Since I was a child I have always suffered with health issues. When I had my first and only child my health symptoms got worse. I ended up in a hospital for 3 months in an ICU. I had a severe case of ulcerative colitis which ended up with me having emergency surgery and a colostomy first because my colon perforated on the operating table. After a month, I ended up with a permanent ileostomy. I also developed two blood clots in my leg and in my lung. Besides that, I also ended up with sepsis in my incision. I went on to gain my strength back to go on to raise my two year old son by myself. I remarried soon after and that relationship ended after 15 years. Its been an ongoing battle with my health. I now have diabetes type2, high blood pressure, I am on coumadin for another blood clot that developed recently in my lower calf. I have alot of issues going on in my life as you can see. Its an ongoing battle to keep my head up and smile everyday. I feel so helpless and solemn sometimes. I just sit and cry and wonder why. Did I do something in my life to deserve all of this? Its seems so unsurmountable sometimes that anyone could go through all that I have been through and actually lived to tell it.
    So today  I ask your help out there...any and all suggestions will be so appreciated. I just need someone to talk with....and maybe set me in the right direction.
Thank you

getting by
Forum Moderator

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 42499
   Posted 9/27/2012 11:24 AM (GMT -6)   
Hi Reresunshine,

Welcome to the depression forum. You have a lot of health conditions. I am sorry to hear this. I think that the best thing you can do is take life one day at a time. It is hard, but it can be done. Mindfulness and meditation help a lot. Eating healthy is a must for you. You have diabetes and high blood pressure, so it is so important. Can you get out for a walk once a day? It helps the mind and body.

I think you are actually doing well. You are aware of what is going on with you and you want to work with what you have. That is a good place to start. Taking life one day at a time is so important when you have health problems. Especially things that are pretty much out of your control. Life style changes for the better. Take it slow. One day at a time (I can't say that enough). Living that way has helped me so much since I got fibromyalgia.

Know that people who are racist or mean to other people are very unhappy. Otherwise they would not act the way that they do. Try to ignore her and not take anything she says to heart. Know in your heart that you are a good person, and that you are doing the best that you can. Things are going to get better. It just takes a little time.

Keep posting and know that we care.

Hugs, Karen
Moderator-Depression and fibromyalgia

fibromyalgia, Chronic fatigue, depression, allergies

Elite Member

Date Joined Mar 2009
Total Posts : 20227
   Posted 9/28/2012 5:55 AM (GMT -6)   






New Member

Date Joined Sep 2012
Total Posts : 10
   Posted 9/28/2012 8:36 AM (GMT -6)   
I think life is just plain hard, and it's not particularly fair either. Not only is your job tiring physically, but I know that feeling unappreciated and seeing others much less deserving get the credit adds to the exhaustion. And it's tough being around people who not only are racist but actually say racist things. It sounds like you are a good person; you made an honorable attempt to better the situation by speaking to your boss. The best you can do is to be kind to the people you work with, especially those who have suffered from the racial slurs; and ignore the person whose behavior is so troublesome. This is much easier said than done. People who do good work are not always rewarded.

As Karen said, you've made a big step by recognizing the problem. Also, it does help to pour out everything on a forum like this.

Diabetes is tough to live with, especially when you're tired. What you eat does matter, but like most things it's one small change at a time.

Hang in there and keep posting.
Chronic pain; chronic fatigue; depression. Sister with Alzheimer's (Alzheimer's runs in family). A near-and-dear friend succumbing to leukemia.

Forum Moderator

Date Joined Apr 2012
Total Posts : 7438
   Posted 9/28/2012 1:02 PM (GMT -6)   
HI Katya

You have received some very good advice from other here at the forum. I do agree with them.

As for the racism, the people that person targets has to be the ones to step up and say something at this point. You have done all you can. Without the victim willing to accuse there is nothing you can do. You have already stuck up for them.

Mindfulness may help you in staying calm and peaceful at home and taking care of yourself.

You do have the choice and proactive power to find another job if you wish.

Stay strong and keep posting, we listen and support.

Be still and know there is Peace.

Kabir says: "Student tell me, what is God? He is the breath inside the breath". from the poem Breath.
DX: reverse Trigeminal Neuralgia;Cluster headaches; Atypical face pain; raynauds;complex PTSD; recurring MDD,disassociative disorder;
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