I am fairly new to this board and would like some help with problems that are arising in my life right now. Lately, I have been very weepy and things bother me a great deal no matter what they may be. I find that my job, which I have been at for five years now, is really getting me down. Its the type of place where you never get a thank you, good job or anything like that. I am a housekeeper so my work is really physical and everyday I am worn out. I come home and my body is so worn out that I have to go to bed by 6pm. This is what is envolved in my job, I have to clean 22 resident rooms, a common area, a kitchenette, a nursing lounge, 2 common area bathrooms. Basically I am cleaning the entire unit. I start at 7am and the day ends at 3. By 3 I am basically just finishing my last room. I clean so much my hands are covered in dry spots and my knuckles dry out so badly that they bleed during the winter months. I wear gloves but they dont really help. We have a thing called a "shining star" given to an employee who exemplifies just that. They go over and above to help in any situation. Well lately, I see people getting it who I know are horrible examples of a "shining star". A co worker is so racist with her words and name calling of people of different nationalities has led me to stay away from her and end our friendship. Well you guessed it, yesterday she was awarded the "shining star"!!!!! Not only that but she screams and rants and raves at other co workers on her floor and gets away with it. Is it just me? Am I the crazy one here? This bothers me so much!!! I did tell my boss what she said to a new worker one weekend. She called some of the employees by a disgusting racial name and the poor woman didn't know what to say! My boss said NOTHING! All he said to me was "oh, that doesn't surprise me"...What the hell???? I don't want to say anything to the higher ups for fear of losing my job here. Enough people know what she did say so I feel that maybe one of them will say something.
My life in general has always been a battle. One thing after another has happened to me. My relationships with men have all gone by the wayside. I have only had 2 marriages that ended in divorces and 2 other relationships that ended. My health is a constant downhill. Since I was a child I have always suffered with health issues. When I had my first and only child my health symptoms got worse. I ended up in a hospital for 3 months in an ICU. I had a severe case of ulcerative colitis which ended up with me having emergency surgery and a colostomy first because my colon perforated on the operating table. After a month, I ended up with a permanent ileostomy. I also developed two blood clots in my leg and in my lung. Besides that, I also ended up with sepsis in my incision. I went on to gain my strength back to go on to raise my two year old son by myself. I remarried soon after and that relationship ended after 15 years. Its been an ongoing battle with my health. I now have diabetes type2, high blood pressure, I am on coumadin for another blood clot that developed recently in my lower calf. I have alot of issues going on in my life as you can see. Its an ongoing battle to keep my head up and smile everyday. I feel so helpless and solemn sometimes. I just sit and cry and wonder why. Did I do something in my life to deserve all of this? Its seems so unsurmountable sometimes that anyone could go through all that I have been through and actually lived to tell it.
So today I ask your help out there...any and all suggestions will be so appreciated. I just need someone to talk with....and maybe set me in the right direction.