Sick & Tired of Being Sick & Tired

Hi everyone,

I am in yet another depression spiral.  But this is really fustrating and once again I am considering seeking help and/or medication.

I have goals in life and things I want to do but I cant stay focused. My brain is all over the place and I cant concentrate on one thing for decent amount of time.  I go to work everyday and have all these different things to do, but thinking about tackling them gets overwhelming and so I end up doing nothing.  Same thing at home, so I have stacks of magazines that needs to be thrown out, dust bunnies and projects that never get completed. A couple years ago like once a month I would get so depressed that I would go for a day or two feeling like I was in darkness or there was a darkness inside my head, and I literally could not speak to anyone unless I absolutely had to. I dont really have those days anymore but the depression is still here and its fustrating.  I am tired all the time, and completely anti social. I lost over 100 pounds in the last two years and I thought that would help me with my anti social issues but it hasnt.  I would rather not deal with humans unless I really have to. I will come home from work on friday and not leave my house again until monday morning.  I know my depression is from several things, childhood abuse, fustrated at life, hating my job, and being anemic.  I also think it runs in the family.  So now I start the journey of finding a therapist who is not an idiot (i tried once before didnt like him).  I'm also paranoid about medication but I may have to give in because this is ridiculous and really pissing me off. 

Sorry for the rant I had to let that out. thanks for listening.

Welcome, and rant away. We all need to at some point in time.

Boy can I ever relate to the being so overwhelmed that you get kind of 'frozen' in place and just do nothing. It sounds so much like me!

I have skills and ideas and have done some great projects in the past, and have anumber of 'incomplete' projects around my house - but just can't seem to motivate myself to finish them.

i start on one thing ( like sorting magazines) find a book and go to put it away, decide the bookshelves are dusty and go to get a rag - can't find the 'Endust' and get sidetracked by the huge laundry pile in the basement. I put a load of clothes in to wash, and take a wrinkled load out of the dryer (it's been there for two days) but it's underwear and towels, so it doesn't really matter if they're wrinkled. I take them upstairs to put away...While I'm folding clothes I start to play with the dog - and the next thing you know, nothing is done.

Most of the time, I have great intentions in the morning - but once I get my son off to school - unless I've been called in to work that day (I'm a substitute teacher) - by the time I get back from taking him to school, I'm already exhausted and lay down to take a nap or rest, and the next thing you know - the day is shot.

Either way - I look around my house, and it's a disaster - and yet, I can't really explain WHY?

I'm tired all the time, yet I (usually) get enough sleep at night.

I actually feel better, if more tired, on the days i work - because even though there is more required of me, the 'structure' of having to follow a teacher's schedule pushes aside all those posibilities and descision waiting at home - and gives me something concrete to follow.

-------------

somone above mentioned ADD, and I am an adult with ADD and Depression - if you are so easily distracted, you might look into it, too. Your name doesn't say for sure - but something gave me the idea you were female? Many, many women are misdiagnosed and/ or treated for Depression, when they are really ADD. and many women with ADD, also have depression, because of dealing with the frustration of untreated ADD for so many years! Almost every adult with ADD that I know, recognised it in themselves after reading about it, or having a relative or child who was diagnosed with it. Even if you DON'T have ADD - some of the behavioral techniques and ideas can be very helpful to someone dealing with depression - so it's worth learning a bit about it. Go to your public library or look up Sari Solden on the Web - she has written a number of excellent books about women and ADD that might help you, whether you DO have it or not.

Medication can help - but it's only part of the solution for any of these problems. You should not be afraid of medication - if you educate yourself about what you have and what you are taking, and are working with your doctor.

Much of Depression and/or ADD - or any other mental disorder is CHEMICAL. If your body isn't making or using the right blend of chemicals for itself, then what is wrong with providing them artificially? Why do we beat ourselves up for needing them? It's no different than providing someone with antihistamines because their body doesn't produce enough, making them sneeze - or taking an antacid to settle your stomach - or insulin for a diabetic. If someone is suffering, and the medical means exist to ease that suffering, it should be used!

By the way - congratulations on losing the weight! I have had a weight problem all my life, and the only thing that ever worked for me was Phen-Fen - remember that? I had NO problems with it, it worked well, no side effects. It also had the effect of balancing my ADD 'mental' chemistry as well (the stimulant in the Phentermine).
I would be very interested to hear how you did it, as well! It must have been a tough thing to do!

Hang in there - and feel free to 'vent' all you want - theres lots here who DO understand!

laura

"God forbid someone should ring my doorbell, they would be attacked by life sized dust bunnies."

LOL - with me, it's not dust - it's dog hair! I tell everyone,"when there's enough hair balls rolling around that it looks like Fizzy had puppies, That's when I know it's time to vaccuum!" Well, Fizzy has had quite a few 'litters' that have been roaming the house for months now, I think ......

laura

thanks again guys for your support.

I'm wondering if I should go to a psychologist or psychiatrist first?

I am sitting here reading all of these responses to your depression and lack of energy.  I can relate to everything you say, not because I suffer from depression but at the age of 31 my husband was started on paxil and after 6 years he say a doctor who thought that he had ADD and put him on ritalin. 

PLEASE all of you who are taking any antidepressants, look into all of the side effects, take the meds correctly and make sure that you follow up with your doctors. 

My husband committed suicide 3 weeks ago leaving behind a 4 1/2 year old daughter and a 1 1/2 year old daughter.

Depression is a debilitatin illness and even when you are feeling well and everyone around you feels that you are feeling well things can change in the blink of an eye.  All I can say is seek out help whenever you feel that you need to.  Any time life is too much, don't feel that it is nothing, call someone.  Believe me you have no idea how many people care about you, people that you would never think of!

Stephanie

Post Edited By Moderator (HW_Peace) : 5/30/2005 5:10:03 PM (GMT-6)

I really hope you are doing okay, Stephanie!! Please know that my thoughts are with you always...Hugs, Teri