this post was inspired by chelsi thank you for helpin me to release it
i have lost a friend of 30 yrs recently not to do with any arguement on his or my part but by a third party that has been jealous of our friendship since i introduced them. he was away in the national guard for a 1 year tour and now i havent heard from him in months an hes been back awhile.
awhile before he was to come home i recieved an I.M. from him telling me he wouldnt be on I.M till he got home, and that i should ask his wife when that would be. so i tryed to call her for several weeks 4 or 5 times a day and she didnt answer the phone. at that point i knew somethin was up. a couple of weeks after the best estimate i could get when he would be home i saw them walkin together with thier kids 2 streets over from where i live. i made eye contact with his wife he didnt even see me and i knew instantly that my suspiscions were true. sometimes you have to let go so i let them go without a word
i have been hurting from this loss.the past week and a half was the worst.i miss him alot we were better than best friends better than brothers we shared everything for 30 years (i am 37 next month)he was my best man at my wedding and i at his.i know i want to contact him and i know i shouldnt because he was gone from his family for a year and they need time.however it would only take a phone call just 1 min instead its been 3 monthes and nothin.he has to know its tearin me up inside but he has chosen to avoid me.however i have found friends here that are better they dont gossip they dont belittle and they dont turn away when i need them most.i look to new friendships both here and in my immediate area and i have become stronger.....with luck and time i hope he returns
i would like to apologize to all my chat friends for my being so silent and distracted especially the ones that knew something was up with me and im thankful for the friendship and patience
"its a share thing sometimes more sometimes less but always balances out"
mabye more later
thanks again chelsi