Friendship Lost...Friendship Found

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Never Alone
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 23
 		   Posted 5/21/2005 11:53 PM (GMT -6)   
          this post was inspired by chelsi thank you for helpin me to release it
 
 
    i have lost a friend of 30 yrs recently not to do with any arguement on his or my part but by a third party that has been jealous of our friendship since i introduced them. he was away in the national guard for a 1 year tour and now i havent heard from him in months an hes been back awhile.
 
 
     awhile before he was to come home i recieved an I.M. from him telling me he wouldnt be on I.M till he got home, and that i should ask his wife when that would be. so i tryed to call her for several weeks 4 or 5 times a day and she didnt answer the phone. at that point i knew somethin was up. a couple of weeks after the best estimate i could get when he would be home i saw them walkin together with thier kids 2 streets over from where i live. i made eye contact with his wife he didnt even see me and i knew instantly that my suspiscions were true. sometimes you have to let go so i let them go without a word
 
 
      i have been hurting from this loss.the past week and a half was the worst.i miss him alot we were better than best friends better than brothers we shared everything for 30 years (i am 37 next month)he was my best man at my wedding and i at his.i know i want to contact him and i know i shouldnt because he was gone from his family for a year and they need time.however it would only take a phone call just 1 min instead its been 3 monthes and nothin.he has to know its tearin me up inside but he has chosen to avoid me.however i have found friends here that are better they dont gossip they dont belittle and they dont turn away when i need them most.i look to new friendships both here and in my immediate area and i have become stronger.....with luck and time i hope he returns
 
      i would like to apologize to all my chat friends for my being so silent and distracted especially the ones that knew something was up with me and im thankful for the friendship and patience
 
 
           "its a share thing sometimes more sometimes less but always  balances out"
 
 
        mabye more later

                                          thanks again chelsi
 
                          I have walked the road of recovery
                          for sometime now
                          I look behind and see progress
                          though slow and alone it was
                          I look foward and see no end
                          I am alone.......
                          then a hand touched each shoulder so tender
                          so I looked to both sides and I found friends
                          who dont walk behind nor ahead
                          but by my side
                          I am not alone.......
                          and through my endless journey
                          I hope to see them reach     
                          the end of thier road of recovery
                          I will always be here
                          but  NEVER ALONE
                          I walk with my friends

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Hazelbug
Regular Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 38
 		   Posted 5/22/2005 1:11 AM (GMT -6)   
I went through a similar situation with my best friend since 7th grade.  She completely stopped talking to me after someone I was dating apparently said something to offend her that I didn't have anything to do with.  I didn't hear from her for two years until I got a really long email from her a couple weeks ago apologizing for being a bad friend and how much she missed having me in her life.  If you had nothing to do with this third party interfering with your friendship with your best friend, I'm sure he'll come around eventually with a big apology.  Maybe try sending him an email or a letter saying that you're glad he's home safe and then give him some time to reply.
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Ashley100
Regular Member


Date Joined Apr 2005
Total Posts : 29
 		   Posted 5/22/2005 6:13 PM (GMT -6)   

Hey there. I am so sorry to hear about your friend. And I am happy that I also know what has been bothering you and you never have to appologize. But I do know how you feel. All of my friends but one have stopped talking to me even if they see me when I go out they just turn there head and act as if they never knew me. But I know how it makes you feel. I am happy though that you have made so many friends here in chat and in the forum. All you do is help people you do not judge and you do not criticize. You are an amazing person. And I am grateful to have met you and become such good friends with. There should be more people in the world like yourself. You have helped me many times. But you are unlike anyone I have ever talked to and I will never stop talking to you. I will always be here for you whenever you need to talk or anything. Just remember that you have many friends here and that you could never make anyone stop talking to you. Because of what a great person you are. I hope to talk to you again soon. Take care. Hugs.

Your friend always, Ashley

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AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
 		   Posted 5/22/2005 7:12 PM (GMT -6)   
Never Alone,

Hmmmmmm . . . I wonder if your friend is sitting there thinking that YOU don't want him. Some of these guys come home and they sit in silence waiting for others to reach out. A friendship like that deserves a chance. I would call or send a note and invite them out or over to your place for an evening. See where that goes. Don't take the chance that he feels like you don't want him. If you get the brush off, then at least you will know for sure.

Keep us posted.

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptylene, Salagen, Lotrel
 
Please help HealingWell help others. Donate today: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/

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hw_chelsi
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 151
 		   Posted 5/23/2005 11:16 PM (GMT -6)   
Hi Never Alone,
 
I am really glad I could help you get your feelings out.  It looks like you have recieved alot of good advice.
 
This has got to be really tearing you apart.  I know it would me.  You have been best friends for nearly your whole life and you have done nothing wrong.  I like the suggestion that you send him an email.  You might even suggest a lunch time together.  He may want to see you as much as you do him but maybe his wife wants to keep him to herself.  At least you have a clear conscience.  You have not done anything wrong.  I know that does not make it any easier because you do not know what is really going on.
 
I had lunch with my friend on Sat. but it was a very short lunch as she had to get back to her sons to babysit her granddaughter.  I could definatly feel the strain at lunch.  It was as if neither of us were comfortable.  I ended up sending her an ecard yesterday afternoon to apologize again.  I said that I would not contact her since she probably needed some time.  When I sent the ecard it said that I would be notified when it was picked up and it is 11pm Monday night and I have not gotten anything saying it has been opened.  Now I wonder if she hasnt been on her email at home or if she has and has chosen not to open it and read it.  I told her Sat. that another friend of mine, which she knows was going to dinner with me on Thur.  She said she thought she could go.  That is fine except I cant call her since I am giving her space.
 
But you have a chance.  Send him an email and suggest you get together sometime.  Don't let the friendship get away.  You have too much invested.
 
Please post back and let us know what happens.
 
Chelsi
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hw_chelsi
Regular Member


Date Joined Feb 2003
Total Posts : 151
 		   Posted 5/24/2005 6:51 AM (GMT -6)   
effie,
 
I would like that, to be friends. 
 
I too am not overly computer literat.  I know how to email, IM, surf the net and Word.  My friend is not computer literate either.  I will have to try that by sending myself an ecard to my other email address and see what happens.  When I sent it, it came up and said you will be notified when your ecard has been recieved.  She goes on spurts of getting on the computer.  Alot of times her new boyfriend comes over several nights a week and stays over so since she has not seen him since earlier last week, I am hopeing she has been busy.  I think occasionally she checks them from work.  We are blocked from opening emails from home at work like from yahoo.  A couple of times I have been able to do it but then I dont open anything I would not want them to be able to see since I heard alot of companies are now doing that.  I guess I could send her an email at work telling her to check her home emails I suppose but I really want to leave her some space.  That way, I can tell how good of a friend she really is.  I just hope she honors my request to delete that voice mail I sent her.  I refuse to listen to it.  It can not do any good, and it could end up hurting me.  I know I have a problem.  I have apologized and am giving her space and putting this whole incident behind me.  I think by hearing it again would not help the healing process.
 
I am enclosing my email address so if you or Never Alone feel like emailing me you may do so.  Just be sure to tell me who you are in the subject line so I know to open it.  If I dont know who it is I dont open the email cuz of all the viruses going around.
 
Chelsi
 
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AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
 		   Posted 5/24/2005 10:18 AM (GMT -6)   
Effie,

Thank you for sharing that very difficult part of your life. You have touched many with your post, including me.

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptylene, Salagen, Lotrel
 
Please help HealingWell help others. Donate today: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/

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AlwaysRosie
Veteran Member


Date Joined Jan 2005
Total Posts : 8616
 		   Posted 5/25/2005 3:46 AM (GMT -6)   
You are welcome Effie and thanks for the warm fuzzies!!

Effie, lots of people read here and they don't post. Every time someone tells a story, it helps others work through a similar problem. Right now there are 30 guests reading the forums and only 2 registered members. So there are lots more readers than posters!!

Blessings!
In His Grip,
AlwaysRosie
Psalms 139
UCTD (Undifferentiated Connective Tissue Disease), Hashimoto's, High BP, GI Inflamation, Diverticuloses
Plaquenil, RX Motrin, Lexapro, Amitriptylene, Salagen, Lotrel
 
Please help HealingWell help others. Donate today: http://www.healingwell.com/donate/

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