I've just been lurking lately and haven't posted in a while. Been pretty stable with my "moderate" depression, even though I've been going thru some major relationship changes. Haven't changed meds or seen my "psycho-pharmacologist" in about three or four months, but lately I've been thinking that I may need to switch something up.
The crux of the matter is that I've recently been in a position to contemplate the quality of life I have in store for myself, and unfortunately it's not very rosey. I thought about making a "bucket list" of fun adventures I'd like to have before I die, but every time I think about it, I come up with more "Anti" stuff. For instance, I'll never be able to do a bunch of things I used to do, and I'll never have the kind of life I always expected to have at this point and in the future. Too much water over the bridge...lack of luck...planning that went astray, whatever... Does anyone else ever feel this way? I'm not trying to be overly dramatic, just honest with myself about what is possible or attainable based on my circumstances. Any suggestions on how to deal with the "I'll Nevers" that keep popping up in my brain?
•On Disability for: Chronic Migraines, serious Back and Knee problems (will need surgery eventually), moderate Depression, Anxiety/Panic disorder, TMJ, stomach problems
•Divorced, 46, spawn-free
"THE WEATHER IS HERE, I WISH YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL." -Jimmy Buffett