Posted 12/3/2012 4:26 PM (GMT -7)
I'm a 22 year-old college student recently diagnosed with depression and anxiety. A couple months ago, I started a job in addition to being a full time college student in an extremely intensive major, and my emotional stability started rapidly declining. about a month and a half in, after crying multiple times a day, being unable to sleep or eat, and losing the desire to do absolutely anything ever, I decided to seek therapy. I exercise, meditate, and I've finally gotten my appetite back. I can sleep now, which is beautiful, as well. My friends and teachers were really impressed with the fact that I was willing to admit that something was seriously wrong so quickly. I'm not really shy about any facet of my life.
But even though I'm doing all of the right things to improve my quality of life, every day is still such a struggle. I described it to a friend last night saying that I feel like I'm constantly fighting to be myself on a day-to-day basis. I miss being happy. I miss being able to think rationally. I know that therapy isn't an instant fix, and I realize that a lot of the deep digging that we're doing is going to make me a much more put together person than before the depression and anxiety struck. I just wish I had immediate relief from the hurting and struggling to keep my life together.
One of the biggest current struggles I'm having is that my best friend recently got a girlfriend, and I don't see him as frequently as I used to. Before he was in a relationship, he and I would hang out every single day, and I was effectively the number one person in his life. Now, I'm number two. And he's more than proven that he will always be there for me when I need him (coming over at 1:30am last night to talk me down from being a hysterical mess, etc.) But I still feel so irrational because I get so upset about spending less time with him, and feeling like I'm bothering him if I'm calling while his girlfriend is over. I've been very upfront in communicating with him about it, and he's doing a wonderful job balancing his time, but I have no idea how to convince myself to feel better about it.
Last thing, I suppose: I'm about to start student teaching, so when I have a better idea of my schedule, I plan on scheduling an appointment with a psychiatrist to discuss medication. My friend who also experienced depression said it's a great help to getting back on your feet again. What are your personal experiences? I'm open to anything as long as I'm well-informed. I just want to be happy again, you know?