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So confused, cant figure anything out!

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Depression
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Posted 5/29/2005 1:50 AM (GMT -6)
New to this sector of the forum. I usually stay in the Anxiety/panick area of town. Lately i have been feeling quite down and need to vent. Some of the recent posts inspired me to post as well, many of the complaints were similar to my own.

For what seems like forever I have been unable to make any kind of decisions. This applies to every aspect of my life, but especially when pondering what it is I want to do with my life. It seems everyone around me knows what they are doing, or at least are on some path (i know this sounds like a typical 20 year olds problem.) I feel lost, like im in some sort bizzaro dimension. My thoughts are so scattered. Its like I cant focus. I dont even really know what it is that I'm seeking by writing this. I dont know what it is I enjoy anymore. I dont know what I want to do with my life. Basically, I'm really unhappy. Most of the day I spend contemplating how dizmal my life is, and how much I regrett doing this or not doing that. Yeah... I spend a lot of time regretting things. Its always, I should have done that, and I should have done this. The regrett seems to be at the heart of everything. I have this constant feeling of being left out, like I'm missing out on life. Are these common symptoms of depression? I'm just so hyper vigilant about every thing. Always analying things. I just want to be carefree.

I guess I'm depressed...
Posted 5/29/2005 9:39 AM (GMT -6)
Hi Effie and Jameson!

My husband who is now 54 still tells me he doesn't know what he wants to be when he grows up! :) However, he points his feet forward and does the best he can. He's Retired military. And after 10 yrs. with another job, just received the position he was aiming for at 54 yrs. old. When he retires in another 10 or less years, he may want to try something new!! lol

I started out trying different jobs along the way and after going to school, found the one I dreampt of having most of my life. Being a nurse. Although, due to health issues, which included 3 back surgeries, then heart disease and all that along with depression now, I do volunteer jobs and have been a stay at home Mom for many years.

I guess my thoughts here were to show you that this can happen to anyone, trying to figure out life's meanings and what it is you want to do with your life, especially as both you and Effie mentioned, being 20 doesn't always mean you know what you are supposed to do. It's the start of your adult life, find something solid and something you think you might enjoy-put your foot in-the water's not too bad! :) And just keep your feet pointed straight ahead.

My thoughts get scattered like you're talking about and if you have anxiety problems along with depression, this could be part of it as well. Have you been diagnosed with either of these problems?, and are you on any medications for them?-if not, talk to your Dr.

I wish you all the best, and Effie it is so nice to meet you again!!

Hugs, Teri :)
Posted 5/30/2005 4:49 AM (GMT -6)
Hi, Jameson,

Welcome to our group. First I want to say that you came to a good place and everyone here is just great and understanding and we all have so many different lives soit never gets boring.

There are times in  my life when I wondered what the heck I was doing here. I thought all I came here for was to give birth to 2 daughters, be a part-time grandmother and then a so-so wife and then check out. Other times I feel like I am here for myself and my right to love life to the fullest. Unfortunately, being ill and having depression don't make for great bedfellows. They do not compliment one another. I get up in the AM and thank God for another day and go through my day puttering about, cleaning one room at a time and cooking and laundry and playing with my dogs and having them bring joy into my life. My husband is a good man and takes very good care of me. Soemtimes we have to look for the good stuff. It's there if we look hard and long enough. I always reflect on others that have it worse than I and then I feel like a real jerk. Humility tends to make you a believer real fast. Post, read and welcome.

"Lefty" 

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