Please get help...

sk8

New Member

Joined : Jan 2005

Posts : 12

Posted 5/30/2005 10:21 AM (GMT -6)

I am here looking for some answers. I don not suffer from depression but my husband has for well over 6 years. We have gone through this tiring, trying, unrelentless journey that unfortunately ended 3 weeks ago with his death. He committed suicide, leaving behind a loving wife and 2 very young daughters.

In Mike's depression we went to our family doctor who was helpful but never did refer him to the right doctors even after we asked many many times. Mike did go to see a general practitioner who specialized in ADD this past January who diagnosed him with adult ADD and started him on ritalin. He had been on paxil for the past 6 years. Needless to say there were many kinds of medications that were trialed and Mike often felt like an experiment. Mike tried, he looked for help and took his meds, but the demons came and took over.

What I am hoping that will come from this loss is that everyone who suffers from depression take the time to stop and think about how many people who love and care for you. Mike felt that he was alone in the world, when in actual fact there were well over 230 people at his funeral.

Please, stop and if you do not feel right get help, talk to someone, anyone. All it takes is a phone call to get help. Doctors are there, therapists are there and family and friends are also there!

Please just don't let this happen to anyone else and to any other children!

Post Edited By Moderator (HW_Peace) : 5/30/2005 5:08:38 PM (GMT-6)

Teri16

Veteran Member

Joined : Dec 2003

Posts : 5230

Posted 5/30/2005 2:01 PM (GMT -6)

Hi again, sk8!

Again, I'm so sorry about your husband!! Is there anyone you can talk to, or do you have people nearby that can offer you some help as well? This has got to be a very rough time for you and your little girls-please make sure to take care of you!!

Write here to us anytime, we'll be here for you!

Be well and best wishes always!!

Hugs, Teri

"Because he is he and I am I."......E. V. Lucas

"I Hope You Dance".............LeeAnn Womack

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Having2LeftFeet

Regular Member

Joined : Feb 2005

Posts : 472

Posted 5/30/2005 2:13 PM (GMT -6)

Sk,

Words don't even begin to express the hurt and pain you must be going through. My God.....I am so sorry and if I were there, I would give you a BIG hug. The members here take depression very seriously. We do not harass each other nor do we put anyone down. We "shy away" from the subject of suicide but know the heartache it brings. Some of us have experienced it, some not. They are the lucky ones. Please listen to me closely and carefully. I didn't read any other posts to yours so I will say this without knowing what anyone else said. You have a place here. You can be a great help to people here without even mentioning the "S" word. You will become family. A lot of people need encouragement as much as they encourage others. They need love as much as they need to give love. They need support as much as they need to be supportive. Life is a give and take thing. A lot of people take all they can and never give back. They are the one's that skate through life without any "oil slicks" on the road, however, it all comes out in the wash after a while. I think I can safely say that we are all here for different reasons. No two of us are alike except that we care for one another. We are here for one another. We are, as I always say, names without faces. That is the best part. See, we don't care about formality. If it's good, decent advice, we want that. We depend on our "higher power", most being the Lord and Savior. If it weren't for Him, I wouldn't be here. I would have "thrown in the towel" a long time ago and just not have cared about anything. A lot of us have depression along with illnesses. So, we are dealing with more then one demon. After being here a while, I knew I could say anything, tell the members how I felt and never get put down. Now if you ask for advice, you better get ready to get it, however, you mostly get love. We genuinely care for each and every member and that means you too!

I want to personally thank you for sharing your heartache with us. You will get lots of prayers. I am "overnighting" my prayers to you, but they come as soon as I get off line. God be with you and guide you and help you stay strong for the children. I will, of course, pray for your entire family too. God nless!

"Lefty"

There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.

sk8

New Member

Joined : Jan 2005

Posts : 12

Posted 5/30/2005 9:41 PM (GMT -6)

Thanks to everyone for their kind words. I am here because I hope that I can be there for someone else and try to help someone out of this pit of dispair and feelings of hopelessness. My husband loved life and I want him to live on and do everything that I can to try to help others, even if it is only one person one time! I do not think for a minute that I have all of the answers but I do know that when you do good to others, good will find you. Life is hard and brings people many challenges, sometimes the challenges just get too much.

I will be here more often to try to add some encouragement during others times of turmoil and their times of happiness too!

Thanks again for everyones support.

Stephanie

CheerDad

Veteran Member

Joined : Apr 2004

Posts : 2284

Posted 5/31/2005 10:43 AM (GMT -6)

sk8,

I am so sorry for your loss. I can not imagine what you are going through. Thanks for your concern and desire to reach out to others. I know that in myself, when I reach out to others, it makes carrying my own burdens much lighter. Welcome to the family and please come back often.

We can respond to irritation with a smile instead of scowl, or by giving warm praise instead of icy indifference. By our being understanding instead of abrupt, others, in turn, may decide to hold on a little longer rather than to give way. Love, patience, and meekness can be just as contagious as rudeness and crudeness.

Randy

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dbab

Veteran Member

Joined : Jan 2004

Posts : 4151

Posted 5/31/2005 11:12 AM (GMT -6)

sk8,
I'm so sorry for your and your childrens' loss. Even though it really hurts for you to share that I am sure that so many people are greatful for your words. You are such a brave person and I believe you have started a healing process for yourself and have made everyone think about a lot.

_{Des (dbab)}

_{IBS, Diverticulosis, GERD, Cervical Disc Degeneration}

_{"If you don't like something change it; if you can't change it, change the way you think about it" - Mary Engelbreit}

ucforme

Regular Member

Joined : Apr 2005

Posts : 72

Posted 5/31/2005 11:28 AM (GMT -6)

Wow, what a strong, unselfish, loving woman you are. During a time of such horrendous pain, you're reaching out to help others. I heartily believe that you get what you give, so in your case...my prayer is that you feel the gratitude and best wishes from everyone here and that it will ease your pain and suffering.

All those in your life are truly blessed.

Camey0777

Regular Member

Joined : Jun 2004

Posts : 199

Posted 6/4/2005 3:56 AM (GMT -6)

SK8,

I am so sorry for you and your children's lose. That is so sad My heart goes out to you. I lost a freind last year to suicide, I knew he was depressed and we talked alot and as crazy as this sounds I just didn't think that he would do that. I needed a blood trasfusion, He offered to donate blood. He was doing some work at my house, he talked to me about the problems he was having with hus girlfriend who made him feel less than as she was a producer of a show on tv and her circle of friends were pretty much high society and she told him he didn't fit in. How aweful. He was a really nice guy, he was an alcoholic and his family tried to intervene but they did it the tough love way. I don't know that I would have done it their way, but I don't know it would have helped. Anyway, yes I agree that they need to think about how many lives are affected by taking ones own life.. I think people want help but just don't know how to ask for it. I hope like you if there are those why feelo suicidal will reach out and talk to people on this board and trusted friends. Most of the time they want the pain to end and to see a light at the end of the tunnel, Again I am so sorry for youe lose... I'll be keeping you and your family in my prayers. take care... Donna

AlwaysRosie

Veteran Member

Joined : Jan 2005

Posts : 8616

Posted 6/4/2005 8:31 PM (GMT -6)

Welcome SK8,

Well you are now part of club which no one wants to belong to. So sorry for your loss. There is another member here named LizaB who recently lost a son in the same manner. You may be able to support each other in a way that no one else could.

Thank you for sharing your story to help others. You are a special person!!

Blessings!

In His Grip,

AlwaysRosie

Psalms 139

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LizaB

Regular Member

Joined : Feb 2005

Posts : 50

Posted 6/14/2005 12:31 PM (GMT -6)

sk8,

I know exactaly how you are feeling, On Feburary 24th 2005 my 19 year old son took his own life. Although you at least underwstood that your husband was suffering from depression and just couldnt find help should make you at least feel better, but it never will. I didn't know my son's depression until after he was gone, and still no comfort for me, not even to this day.

Our lives are forever changed when we lose someone to a tradgey such as this. Parents are supposed to die before their children and at least stay alive long enough to see grandchildren and tell them stories about back in the day.

I sit here trying to find words to comfort you and your family, and I have none. This type of tragedy is unacceptable for anyone to have to deal with. Your pain breaks my heart all over again. I sit here and cry for you and for your kids, and for my family. My son's name was Michael too.

Whether its a father, son, mother or daughter or even a best friend there is nothing in this world that will make you feel better until you are ready.

Greive, and greive and long as you like. Don't let anyone tell you that you need to stop doing it. You have a right, but don't blame yourself, blame no one, and GRIEVE.....

If you want to talk via email please feel free to contact me:

lizabuczek@hotmail.com

My prayers are with you and your children,

In Love and Faith,

Liza

Hug Your Children Everyday, and Tell Them That You Love Them

In Memory of My Son:

Michael Joesph Palazzolo

April 19, 1985 - Feburary 24, 2005

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