First let me start by saying that you have some horrofic issues to deal with. I feel bad for you. I have never been in that situation so I can't say "I know what your going through". NO ONE knows what any one person is going through. We all have our own "monkeys" on our back. Yes, we are all in depression, but for many different reasons. I can contribute a few things to you to maybe help. You may not like them or you may. Whatever you like, take it with you and leave the rest for others who may need it.
My first and foremost being I turn is to my Lord and Saviour. Any one person that would sacrifice their life for the lives of others and give us eternal life by His hanging on the cross deserves the glory. If you don't have a "higher power", it really would behove you to do so. I have tried to dedicate my life to pleasing Him but I too have had a few "demons" knocking at my door and I am fighting not to let them in. There will never go a day in my life when I don't pray to Him, ask or Him, give Him the glory, say my serenity prayer or whatever else I think needs attention like you and your family. I will do that today.
The one thing you can do is to "pull yourself together" and try to make a life for your entire family. Someone has to do it and if your spouse is not, some has to. There has to be a "higher power" in your home as well. Somone has to show the others support and if you don't, you will be facing some very serious issues. More so than the ones you have now. If you feel you can't handle the problems anymore, give them to God and don't take them back. Put them i His hand and then pray daily for the support and the courage you need to go on. You have to do this. I take it there is no signs of love in your family, right? No hugs, kisses, pats on the back, At-a-Boy's" or anything else? Where can your family find strength if someone doesn't help them to find it? Someone has got to be the "gate keeper" and as it seems now, that's you. Since you are the one posting, you are the one needing the help. You have asked and we will give but God helps those who helps themselves. "If you ask not, you have not". Do this. Nothing is dead until the Lord says so. If you have taken a wrong turn, go back and make it right. You will see that the more encouragement you get here, the better you will feel. God bless.
There is no such word as can't. Can't simply means wouln't. Grab as much as life as you can. Future is a long way away for those who don't believe. Don't build a foundation of life on sand. It will take it away with the tide. Love a little more, be unkind a lot less.