Wow Dammy, your mind works just like mine - The anxiety makes one thought go to another and then ya worry about
something that hasn't happened yet. I know how difficult this is for you...Been there, and there are times I still go there too.
OK, Try not to think the worse case senario with your mom quite yet. Yes, easier said than done. For us who suffer from anxiety, not knowing is the WORST as it gives bad antispitory anxiety! Wait and see what the results are...One thing, people who suffer from anxiety are suprisingly good at dealing with crisis's that happen around them. I know this first hand too. My father died of Lung cancer as well, almost 12 years ago, I smoke too - So that is always in the back of my head.
What I don't get is, why would it be half your fault? Because you smoked around her? She's 65 and been around the block few times...I'm sure she's been around tons of people who smoke, been in bars, at parties etc...Please don't take on that responsibility - That isn't good for you and isn't going to help this situation.
With your dad, at 85 I guess maybe he's not been feeling well and who knows if he is depressed, or had a scare that made him feel old or realize HOW Old he really is. Young at heart but sometimes at that age the mind can play tricks. I do hope he feels better...Make him laugh as much as possible. Humour is important and will release his happy endorphins. Sounds silly but it's true.
Glad the DR helped you and remember there is NO such thing as a stupid question when it comes to our health.
Try not to think so far down the road, we can't control what is going to happen so it's important to stay in the "now" as that is what counts.
Lots of hugs to you and post back soon.
Red09