Hi, Wenders,
Welcome to our wonderful group. There is only one thing we all have in common and that's the fact that we are depressed for many, many different reasons. Don't feel out of place. If it's support you need, these faithful members will supply it.
Wow...where to start. Were you or your spouse having problems before he dropped the dime on you? Was there any evidence that he wanted a divorce? I have to ask this but is there another woman involved? It is common knowledge that Policemen and Firefighters are, well, macho men. They "walk tall and carry a big stick". A lot of times it's the stress of their job that causes them grief. My son-in-law is a Leut. with the Jacksonville Fire-Rescue. He is a Paramedic, an RN and is going for his Capt. test. He is very sensative and he lost a baby about 2-3 weeks ago, I can't remember, one day goes into the next. He took it very hard. The elderly and kids are hard for him. When he comes home the following day, (24 on, 48 off), he hugs the kids and kisses my daughter and goes for either a 10 mile run or a 20 bike ride. He is very atheletic, works out and has been in many tri-athalons. He is devoted to his family but he loves his job when he saves a life. When he loses one, it's hard.
Being a cop is a more dangerous field to be in. How long have you been married? One thing. You shouldn't have moved out of the house. If you have a child, you have every right to keep that house and he will have to either file a "quit claim" or pay the payments plus child support. They are not making it easy on these guys anymore and it's about time the judicial system take a stand for the parents who doesn't want a divorce and has custody. Make sure the child support and alimony comes right out of his check and that it goes through domestic relations. All the other advice would be to pray. Pray that God watches over you and your little girl and that she will adjust to the changes. It's not too late to get him out. Out a restraining order on him. Cop or not!