hi gaia, you've just got to stay strong
i'm sorry about the way you feel, but know that
depression is an illness, and i think for most of us who are inflicted
just learn each day to cope with it, either with therapy, meds, support groups, a good diet, excercise etc...
i'm 53 and to this day i can't get out of it, i have no choice but to live with it, and make the best of it. don't let depression get you down, you've got too much going on in your life that is wonderful, hold on to it, and take it one day at ta time.
maybe you can go back to therapy?
wishing you a serene day