Well, this is one matter that I DO know about. My son-in-law is a firefighter/paramedic Leut. in Jacksonville, Fl and he loves his job and there have been times when my daughter gives his space because he has a bad night or had a lot of calls. The biggest thing is losing a patient. When he loses one, especially a child or the elderly, he has a hard time but it makes him love my daughter and 2 grandchldren even more and is more appreciative. I truly think it's like the "macho man" appeal where they think women fall all over them. The grass is not greener on the other side. Stephen lost a 2 mo old girl a month ago and he rode his bike 10 miles home and 10 back. He is very atheletic, runs in triathalons (spell?) lifts weights and surfs all over the world. That's his escape. When he lost that baby, he cried riding his bike. Jennifer, my daughter, knows when he has had a bad night and being a Leut. gives more stress. He is very smart, also a nurse and is going for Capt. the next go around.
Perhaps you need to distant yourself from him for a while or back off and et him work on his own issues. There are so many time I have wanted to take the burdens off my husband but they are not mine to own. They are his. Also, pray a lot. Works for 90% of us. Welcome and come often. You'll find peace and contentment.